Trying to claw my way back....

[CloverLeaf]

I followed the McDougall plan from 2010 to 2015, lost 25 lbs. and went from a total cholesterol of 248 to 142. I was a true devotee and never wavered from my dedication to plant-based eating. Then I married a man with a sweet tooth. He was not plant-based and rather quickly I adopted many of his preferences such as eggs, chicken, fish, and above all, desserts. He was never going to give up animal foods and it became easier for me to prepare one kind of meal for both of us instead of two. And the sweets became too tempting to ignore.

In the past six years I've gained up to 10 lbs.and my cholesterol is holding steady at 210. My doctor keeps trying to push statins on me and I keep saying I'll try harder with diet and exercise. I haven't moved the needle one bit because I haven't really changed anything. But now I am determined, so here I am on this forum, hoping to get the encouragement I need.

It was easy when I was single and 10 years younger. It's much more difficult with a spouse. I'm 71 and he's 78. He's not non-supportive of my efforts, but ultimately it's on me to do what I need to do. He's willing to eat healthier but he will not give up the chicken and fish. (We never eat red meat). Yes, I can prepare meals and eat the vegetables and starches and leave the animal foods behind, and also try new dishes that he might really like. But I would be interested in other couples who deal with this. I really need to be successful again. And I know this way of eating truly works!!!

[Ejeff]

If he is truly willing to eat healthier, if I was in your position, I would prepare McDougall approved food and if he wants the chicken and fish he could prepare that and add it on the side. This way you don’t have to cook 2 meals and he has the option to eat the healthy food you prepare all the time.

When I first started this my spouse would try the food and he even followed the starch solution for a period of time. Ultimately he chose to eat his own way. It’s has evolved to where we each prepare our own food. Seems to work well for us. I am enjoying health and living a very active life, pain free without medications. His health is not so great.

I realized a while ago if I allow him to influence what or how I eat I don’t feel great. Sleeping well, staying active and having a lot of energy as I get older is more important to me than eating the SAD foods.

Good luck, you can do this. Nothing is better than staying healthy as you age.

Erin

[barryoilbegone]

Sounds like the Pleasure Trap got its claws into you again for a while Cloverleaf as well? (Doug Lisle and Alan Goldhaimer's book, which you probably know about, but in case not, brilliantly outlines what can happen in something like this).

Liking Ejeff's take a lot, and hope you can take that healthy stand for yourself. It's worth it, at any stage!

[Dougalling2]

Watch a couple of Dr McDougall's videos before preparing meals. It will give you determination, support, a boost in confidence. It will be a good reminder of why you are eating this way. Remember to enjoy your meals. If you know today what you will be eating tomorrow, then it makes it sooo much easier. You can look forward to your next meal. Spice mixes and herb blends make meals interesting. You can do this. You are doing this.

[Ruff]

also coming here every day or so and just reading about others can help. When we fall off the wagon we tend to hide from other plant based people. Just reading the Starch Solution can help.Keeps plant based at the front of the mind.

Try baking some plant based treats. Then when he has his treats you can have some nice cream, or compliant baking to help with the deprived feeling. it might help you get over the hump.

[f1jim]

It's so hard when one has a spouse or partner not interested in eating healthy. Impossible? Nope. I know several Star McDougallers that have been fighting this battle for decades. Funny thing is, their eating habits tend to rub off on their partners over time. But time is what it takes to work through a lot of the difficulties. Also you must really want this for yourself.
Crossroads are an ugly place to be. Good luck. We are here for you!
f1jim

[CloverLeaf]

Thank you everyone, for your responses. I appreciate your input! I've been looking up McDougall recipes and I'm eager to get back to how I used to cook and eat and I think I can get my spouse on board for many of the meals. I will have to augment his plate with what he likes, but I bet I can pull this off. I want it very much and motivation is high. It's great to have this community for support. I would call it live saving.

[Lizzy_F]

Hi Cloverleaf! I just wanted to chime in on the topic of mixed food plan households. I am now finally 2 months into McDougall being completely compliant (it was on again, off again for me for many years, and I realize 2 months is only my beginning - but it's the longest I have ever managed to stay fully compliant!) My husband is a completely compliant low carb eater, so we are litterally on opposite food plans with the exception of non-starchy veg, which of course, takes with some kind of fat and I take with no added fat! To say this has been challenging to adapt to is an understatement!

I do all of the grocery shopping, all of the food prep, and most of the cooking (everything except what is cooked on the grill). He brings home the money and deals with the stress of running his own business, so it's a fair arrangement in my book. For me, the best way to keep up with it all is to keep both of our meals really simple. And a LOT of his animal food items are GRILLED, so he does that part. I batch cook a lot of things for both of us. (i.e. potatoe, oats, soups for me, salads in individual serving containers for him, clean and cut the vegetables ahead of time, etc.) I order my groceries on line and then pick them up at the store which saves me time, and also saves me from various temptations inside the stores. I rely a lot on frozen vegetables (both of us) and fruits (me). I love Jeff Novick's SNAP meal templates. Nobody will ever accuse me (or husband) of being a gourmet chef, but we both get fed and the farther we both get away from hard core pleasure trap foods (sweets, baked goods, processed junk food, that sort of thing) the more OK we both get with really simple meals. Of course I hope that someday he will come around to eating the way I do now. But trying to push him into it will definitely not work! So I try to find ways of simplifying things as much as possible.

I have no idea if any of that is helpful in your situation. Please know you are definitely not alone with the challenges of a mixed food household / maarriage! Don't give up - you can find a way to make it work for your situation.

[CloverLeaf]

Thanks, Lizzy_F, it is very helpful to know I'm not alone and your ideas are indeed helpful. So that's what we are... a "mixed food household"!

I realize it hasn't just been the temptation of the other foods I've had to cook, although the new variety it offered was appealing for a while. It's also that I had gotten lazy about doing things right. Of course it was easier to make the same meal for both of us instead of something different for myself. But I'm on board now and the extra effort will be worth it.
Thanks again.
Clover

[rickfm]

Same here, CloverLeaf.

I'm currently back in obese territory, on the BMI scale.

Been riding the rollercoaster of weight gain/loss for way too long. I can't believe it's been 13 years since I first joined this forum and have been through so many ups and downs.

I do not want another summer to go by without some significant success. Time to get back at it.

[CloverLeaf]

Rick, the pandemic sure didn't help, did it?! I'm feeling very optimistic about staying compliant. In fact, I'm having fun trying out new recipes that I never tried before. It's kind of fun, and a little bit of a challenge, which I like. And they're delicious, too

Even Mr. Picky (husband) is trying them with me and is supportive, luckily. I'm determined to get my total cholesterol down by summer's end and I believe it will happen.

Good luck with getting back on board, too!
Clover