Frustrated with whiners

[Marey]

Recently someone started a discussion because they were so frustrated because they were an entire NINE lbs from their goal of 110. She was complaining about cooking differently for their husband and kids, etc.

I have to tell ya, this ticked me off! If this were someone who was 200 lbs., then I would understand her frustration. Hopefully I'm wrong, but it sure sounded like someone very spoiled who didn't appreciate the fact that she has a husband and family who loves her... not to mention the other blessings of living in this country and being blessed with the knowledge of McDougall's food plan. Living in Chad Africa for a month would give a good perspective.

If these rich foods are so important, then go for it and don't worry about the consequences. If you want to lose weight, you have the tools here, so just do it and quit complaining.

Thank you everyone for letting me vent!

[noodle]

Marey,

I didn't take the post you are speaking of as whining. Speaking from experience, trying to lose 5 -10 lbs. can be as frustrating as trying to lose 50 lbs.

We're all different people here with different personalites and ways of dealing with things .

Just my opinion for what it's worth.

[hope101]

I'm guessing that you have calmed down now and noticed the irony of complaining about someone complaining and getting upset about what to you is insignificant when this is someone you haven't even met?

If you go to Weight Watchers, you will notice the same thing--people complaining about other people who have enrolled to lose 10 pounds when they feel their numbers are so much more significant. Would you want the OP to get so frustrated she abandons a very sincere effort to achieve good health? Would her gaining 40 pounds because she quit somehow make the struggle more legitimate?

Rather than us dividing against ourselves, how about we all assume we're here in the same struggle for health and use this forum to strengthen each other. It is hard enough to be a low fat vegan in this world. The few of us making the effort should try to stick together.

[Porcelain Interior]

My post wasn't about weight.

My post was about a struggle to be healthier through the food I choose to eat- the effects of this show on the scale for sure, but the ramifications go much deeper than just weight.

All humans whine, look for support and gain comfort from knowing they aren't alone.

I had a hard time this past week, I don't see how this has anything to do with your assumption that I don't appreciate my husband and children.

I feel very alone in my path to a healthier way of life, that is why I come here, where there are others going through similar things. My family is not supportive of McDougalling, so I don't go to them for support.

Your attitude towards my post, my feelings and experiences is very negative and hurtful. I would never belittle anyone else's feelings, whether I identified with them or not.

[minirunner]

While I have a hard time dealing with most peoples whining, I completely understand the frustration of striving for better heatlh while having an unsupportive family. I was worried about joining this board because I only wanted to lose 6 lbs. and was afraid that I would be belittled for it.

I decided I didn't want to wait until I became overweight to do something about the weight gain. You can't imagine the tension that goes on when you try to change your diet for the better when family members are unsupportive. My father became offended when I became a vegan and lashed out at me completely unprovoked, I was not even there to eat, just to visit! It can be difficult to prepare separate meals, it's time consuming and the temptation that is sitting right in front of you can be almost unbearable.

whether you want to lose 1 lb. or 300 lbs. it can be frustrating all the same. I can identify with your frustration about people not being thankful for what they have, I financially support a woman in a war torn country and the stories I hear are horrific, but we all have our struggles whether they be family tension over eating habits to poverty we all need love and support.

[Sunny]

Sometimes the only ones we can turn to for support are the people who visit this board. I don't see this as whining, I see it as a cry for help, for support. Obviously the family is not there for her, but we are.

I am sure you know the saying "If you can't say something nice don't say anything at all."

[prairiedream]

Many times those last few pounds are the *hardest* to lose and it can be a real struggle to stay on track when you don't see the scale moving downward.

I know I am *at* my goal weight, yet I still struggle almost every day with temptation and controlling my binge urges, and I think we should all be supported whether we have 1 pound or 100 to lose. It's just as hard no matter where you're at...

[Mama Owl]

no matter our weight..Im 200 lbs..now...but I do understand her POV .... Im whining cause 3 weeks ago I was 194.

too much sugar...too many eggs....and I miss my diet soda's!

[Sher]

Weight loss is not the only goal of the McDougall Plan. Weight issues are the easiest to judge with a glance--but what about that slim, attractive person with 300+ cholesterol? Asthma? Digestion problems? It is just as hard for those folks to change their lifestyle & work toward health, while balancing it with families who may or may not be supportive.

Sharing our struggles is the best way of getting a fresh point of view, & finding solutions. I learn a lot from seeing this give-and-take in the forum, & appreciate people being open & honest about their mistakes & difficulties. It just makes success that much sweeter when it happens.

I tend to not take a poster seriously when they use their first post to criticize. **shrugs** Don't let it get you down, Porcelain Interior. I enjoy your posts.

Sher

[Marey]

I understand how someone wants to lose a few pounds... it's just the *intensity* of her post that bothered me. You can't tell me she's as upset as someone who is 400 lbs. I think it's important to be thankful and focus on what has already been accomplished. It wasn't my intention to be hurtful. And I don't think a discussion board is a "say everything positive" place. At least I was honest about my feelings and I do wish that everyone would accomplish their goal.

[Sunny]

The people on this board do speak honestly, maybe they just do it in a different way. We suggest alternate ways of dealing with a problem and try not making a person feel bad in the process. We are here to help each other, get through a hard time, or to the next goal.
I also believe that yes she can be as upset as someone who is 400 lbs.,
I spent most of my adult life at 125lbs. after each child I had I would lose the weight(20 -40 lbs), when it was a struggle I felt miserable. I wasn't truely happy till I reached my goal, now I am 203lbs. miserable, unhappy and whiney as well, but I am on my way back to where I was and the people on this board are my support , they are a family who are there for each other when no one else is.

[hope101]

Actually, it is completely possible to feel more discouraged and frustrated about not losing 9 pounds than not losing 300. People have different temperaments and some people feel very intensely. I have two children and one came out even-tempered, optimistic and just puts one foot in front of the other. She thinks a lot more than she feels. My son, on the other hand, is an intensely passionate kid who experiences great highs and lows, is easily discouraged and needs to be gently reminded about problem-solving.

I think the point is that rather than put someone down for their frustration, you might be able to help them with suggestions, a sense of hope and a sense of perspective. That old saying about being part of the solution rather than the problem.

[KristaO]

I also believe that yes she can be as upset as someone who is 400 lbs.

Hey Sunny,

I respectfully disagree and I guess it depends on the person.... but for myself - I've lost over 25 lbs (with approx 30 to go) and I'm definitely not as upset as I was 25 lbs heavier: I feel better, look better, and I'm not embarassed to see old friends or go to church anymore. Yes, I'm anxious to lose the rest of the weight, but I'm on my way and so happy to be in size 10 instead of 14.

Congratulations on your weight loss & keep up the good work!