Kid driving me nutso

[veggiecat]

Sometimes that helps.

[Mrs. Doodlepunk]

Honey, take your sails out of her wind. She sees it's upsetting to you when she doesn't eat. Don't react, just let her know it's OK if she's not hungry right now and put a cover on her dish and refrigerate it. When she's hungry later, pull it out and warm it up for her.

I read an excellent book when my youngest was an infant, called "Child of Mine". It is written by a dietician and had good advice about food fights with kids. They are nothing but bad news. Your job is to make the food and put it on the table, in no way can you make them eat it, that is their job. Basically, the only thing within your power is what food your child has to eat now.

Also, I totally agree with having kids help with cooking. My youngest now has his own food blog and has posted "how-to" videos on YouTube. He is the pickiest eater and is the one with lots of food sensitivities. If what I have made for a meal is not what he wants, he is free to cook his own meal. He also has to CLEAN UP his mess too!

[janluvs2heel]

"It is just so frustrating when I make dinner, or whatever, and she starts off with it's gross (we're working on manners) I dont like____insert food here, or whatever"

Hmm, I wonder where she heard the it's gross from. Sounds like what someone was saying about her bean burger at Chili's a few weeks ago.

Geesch!!

Jan

[somnolent]

Maybe you could see if she likes other things blended. Maybe it is a texture thing.

One other idea: I will ask my daughter what she wants to eat. If it is something that she is allowed to eat, I will say, okay eat *this* and then you can eat *that*. At that point, all complaints stop and *this* is devoured quickly.

[lamazemama]

I always have a healthy alternate to dinner that *they can fix themselves*.

No matter what I make (which is always an entree/sandwich + salad) they can make themselves a peanut butter sandwich. That's their alternative.

They know that if they eat their salad they get a treat, so it is never hard for them to do that. LOL

[velvetelvis]

They can do that to you, can't they? Drive you gazakstahagen? But you are the Mommy and she's the Kid, for a good reason. Five year olds are not equipped to make nutritional decisions for themselves. You make those choices and provide clean, healthy food for your child. If she decides not to have dinner, she lives with the consequences - hunger pangs. No treats for normal, non-troublesome behavior. Otherwise, she's in charge and you are being manipulated. The parents are in charge of the household and what happens in it, not the children.

This may cause a lot of dust for a bit, but dust settles and your life is less caustic.

Sorry for the hardnosed rant but I'm sorta "old school."

Peace to you and all you love.

[Tazi752000]

I'm also a little old school. When my son was 5 we said you either eat what I make or you get grounded to your room with no dinner. I would make him small plates with just a few bites of each item. Once he ate it all he could have more of whatever he liked. It only took a few groundings to his room for him to start eating everything on his plate. Now he is 10 and will eat almost anything. He'll sometimes complain about something I make but I just smile and say "well have fun in your room, I'll see you tomorrow" Then he quits complaining.

[merriweather]

I once went to a talk and they said to use the words
Never-the-less and regardless.
Sort of difuses things
Like" I am sorry you don't care for what I cooked. Never the less, it is what I cooked tonight.
Regardless of your opinion, we don't use words that are hurtful--like gross and Yuck --in our kitchen.
Not easy. But you aren't in a power struggle.
For what it's worth, my picky eater grew up. He would eat one thing for a long time. I was a single mom at the time and often gave in. Not anything like the healthy stuff you are providing.
Any way it would be one thing for weeks, then nothing for a day or so , then a growth spurt, then something else.
Any way he is 6'3", very healthy. Broke his ankle and the dr could not believe how quickly he healed. Special Forces Sgt. Point being, they survive.
Stay strong, your are doing great.

[circle city vegan]

I agree with the "ignore it" advice.

I have a 4yr old here that is saying all day "I'm hungry" but then when I suggest 2 or 3 items for him to eat he says "I don't want that". Kids can be frustrating and it's always easy to say not to let it bother you until it's your kid.

Keep trying to ignore the best you can. I try and remind myself that the kids won't starve or get some strange disease if they don't eat all the time large quantities of food. They probably end up eating better in the end if we leave them alone.

[Tazi752000]

Ohh isn't mommyhood wonderful some days! She will test you probably for many years to come. If not on this, then on something else.

[circle city vegan]

When my kid said he was hungry this morning as usual I offered some thing for him to eat. He then said he didn't like that. I then told my sweet angelic round faced and not starving sunken in child that "hungry people eat just about anything you offer and spoiled people tell you they don't like that"

I said which one are you because this is all I'm giving you right now. He took the "cereal like a snack" and a cup of soymilk.

I'm am starting to feel like a crazy lady with this kid and his "I'm hungry" all day and turning down what I offer.

[circle city vegan]

I tried a new one this afternoon:

Boy: I'm hungry

Me: That's great honey. Being hungry is a sign that you're healthy and growing.

I then turned and walked out of the room. Mind you I have popcorn, pretzels, and cut up watermelon on the kitchen table waiting for anyone who needs a snack.

He went and got his own snack.

[merriweather]

Once long long ago, I lost it with my boys.
I had just had surgery. And the oldest had his girlfriend over.
So she says"whats for dinner,Mom." they were not engaged.
Any way every one chimes in that they were hungry.
Some how , I just snapped, and shook up the 2liter of soda in my hand and let it spray. I sort of soaked them all.
Then told them to clean it up, and fix their own dinner, they all were capable of doing.
They still remember.
Mostly they all survived. And all still like me. Well, not the girl. She is long gone, and I have a DiL I love very much.

[circle city vegan]

I'm really bad about this but I let the kids snack and graze all day. I try to have fruit and veg out on a table for them. Lately I've been letting them have unlimited pretzels, nuts and popcorn. I think they're filling up on that and then turning down dinner.

We had a perfectly kid-friendly dinner last night: sloppy joes(meat sub.), tater tots(not limiting oil for kiddos), and corn on the cob. They all picked at it. I tossed alot of food.

The only thing I do to keep waste down is to serve them really small portions and they can ask for more.

I don't save their plates for them and I don't let them eat any thing else after dinner. If they're hungry they can wait till morning. I really only have one kid that is annoying me right now. Isn't 4 fun?