Advice - Child Development

[jackiek]

My partner and I have recently discussed having children. He knows how strongly I feel about nutrition and I refuse to feed our future children meat. He claims that it is impossible for a child to develop properly (height, brain function, etc.) without consuming meat. He is stubborn and will not listen to anything I have to say on the matter. Is there any information I can give to him that will help? He is most likely to believe scientific study on child development or something along those lines.

[openmind]

My partner and I have recently discussed having children. He knows how strongly I feel about nutrition and I refuse to feed our future children meat. He claims that it is impossible for a child to develop properly (height, brain function, etc.) without consuming meat. He is stubborn and will not listen to anything I have to say on the matter. Is there any information I can give to him that will help? He is most likely to believe scientific study on child development or something along those lines.

Well, he's wrong, but that being said, it is not an absolute necessity you raise your children to be vegan in order for them to be healthy. A good compromise is if you can get him to agree to raise any kids on a whole foods plant based diet, with very little meat.

The fact is, it's very hard to raise children to be completely vegan. There are too many outside sources where children will have access to meat, dairy, sweets, etc.

[PeripateticDanielle]

Hi, here's a link to several articles Dr. McDougall has written on the subject - he is a medical doctor, so perhaps your husband will listen to him. I understand on the one hand that he needs to be reassured that a child would be properly nourished on a non-standard diet, but on the other hand it's saddening to me to constantly realize this is considered a 'fringe' diet. From how I feel now, I wholeheartedly believe that this is the way people are meant to eat.

Good luck, and I wish you well!

https://www.drmcdougall.com/health/educ ... -children/

[jamietwo]

This is what Dr. McDougall has to say about it, but I didn't notice references in the article:

https://www.drmcdougall.com/misc/2012nl ... ildren.htm

For several years, the ADA has said that a healthy vegetarian (including vegan) diet is healthy for children.

Speaking from personal experience, my teenage son has never eaten meat (or dairy or eggs), and he reached 5'10" before his 15th birthday (and he's still growing!). He's slim, athletic, and bright!

[jackiek]

To openmind: I'm willing to compromise on eggs and dairy under the condition that they are sourced locally, organic, and cruelty-free but I'm completely unwilling to allow my children to eat meat for both health and ethical reasons. I understand that there will be times when other people will try to give them meat but I want them to be in the habit of saying "no, I don't eat that".

To everyone else, thanks for the links! I will send him the info.

[f1jim]

My sister has raised her 11 year old son completely plant based and he is thriving! It's correct, that it is difficult in this world but certainly not imposible and certainly worth the effort.
f1jim

[jackiek]

Hi LynnCS,

This is not a forum for relationship advice, it's for nutrition. It's not your place to make a comment like that. I am not going to break up with the person I want to spend the rest of my life with simply because he is misinformed. He is stubborn which is why I am searching for scientific studies on the matter. I know he can be convinced if given information in the right way.

I have been a vegetarian for more than a decade, long before we met, and I have made the switch to being vegan in the last year. This is not new to him but he has studied child development extensively and clearly has been getting incorrect information.

[f1jim]

"I know he can be convinced if given information in the right way."

I'm not sure you can convince him of anything. I do believe he will convince himself if the light switch comes on for him. It might be next week or it might never come on. I wouldn't assume he is going to change with your presenting studies or data to him. I think it's safer to assume the status quo and make your decisions from there.
You are right that this isn't a relationship advice forum, per se, but that kind of advice is given out rather regularly. You are free to discard or use any advice given here. Just consider what you paid to get it!

The discussions about diet and relationships have gotten hot and heavy over the years. There has been a wide span of thoughts on the matter. Some people think diet is an almost insignificant part of a relationship and others feel it's near the top of priorities. As I've gotten older I have seen my thoughts on it change and it has gotten more important to me. I have been married for 35 years and my wife has seen all of those changes and has also adopted those changes. Diet for me would now be a deal breaker if I were starting over. Fortunately, I don't have to. Makes it easy to tell other people what to do!
If you are on the forum long enough someone will ask a question about diet and relationships and you will probably feel compelled to give your 2 cents worth. Perhaps just your experiences. All is helpful to someone. We have such a large reserve of experiences around diet and relationships we should be able to tap into it. Take what helps, discard what doesn't.
f1jim

[cena]

My husband is opinionated and argumentative by nature/personality. When I need him to see another viewpoint, I ask him to research the info as if he were going to argue my side. He loves to argue so much that he doesn't mind which side he takes (for the arguments sake.) He claims he will not change his mind, but he usually will do it (for me, because of his affection for me ) and when he learns on his own, he has better insight. It helps our relationship and decision making. Just my 2 cents.