Parents coming for a visit

Share your experience, challenges and success implementing the McDougall program with family and children.

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Parents coming for a visit

Postby RiceNBeans » Tue Sep 11, 2018 7:57 am

I'm very fortunate that as an adult I get to see my parents often. I know a lot of people don't have this luxury, and I'm also blessed with parents who have always done their best to care for me and be involved in my life. But...

** Rant warning **

...whenever I'm trying to be healthy, I'm ashamed to admit there's a part of me that sees their visits as a hurdle to overcome instead of something to look forward to. That's part of the reason it's taken me so long to start being committed to my own health- how awful is that? It's a constant battle of defending my WOE and sticking to my guns. Being asked 10x per day if I want a piece of whatever triple fried fake cheese flavored iced cookie-based candy they're currently eating. And then being asked if I'm sure I don't want any? Yeah, but are you reeeeaaaaally sure?? "Uh-oh, looks like she's on a crazy DIET again..."

Anyway, you probably know where I'm coming from. Next visit is on Sunday and they want to take my husband and I out to eat for our anniversary. I know where we're going, and I know I'll be eating soup before we go and ordering a custom salad with all of the plain fruit/veggies they have and nothing else. And I know I won't be able to order this (you know, the healthiest thing) off the menu without being interrogated and then my parents getting either disappointed or frustrated, and that makes me sad.
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Re: Parents coming for a visit

Postby Idgie » Tue Sep 11, 2018 9:29 am

I have a few stock responses that help me in these situations; they're not 100% honest, but so far, they work:

1) "I know it's weird, but I just have been in the mood for a salad all day and this one looks great!"

2) "I've been feeling kind of sick today, and I thought I'd take it easy on my stomach."

3) "I'm having some bloodwork done tomorrow, and I don't want to mess it up with lots of junk food."
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Re: Parents coming for a visit

Postby Daydream » Tue Sep 11, 2018 10:14 pm

A few weeks ago we met some family members at a restaurant. I called ahead to find out if the chef could steam veggies for me and also inquired about what other vegan options there were. So I knew ahead of time what I wanted to order. My husband and I arrived early before other guests arrived. When the waiter came to our table, I stood up next to him, told him exactly what I wanted letting him know I didn't want any oil, salt or sauces on my food. When everyone came, they were busy focused on what they wanted to eat, the waiter already had my order and people didn't pay much attention to what I ate. Read the menu online ahead of time and if you can't find anything compliant, call the restaurant to inquire what the chef can make for you then try to arrive early so you can give the waiter/waitress your order before others arrive.
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Re: Parents coming for a visit

Postby exercise_guru » Mon Oct 08, 2018 11:17 am

This is a great thread because going into the Festival and Holiday season there are challenges in entertaining and also having other over.

I am new to Mcdougal but I have been Dairy free for 20 years. Here is what I do when my family comes.

Make dinners everyone can assemble the way they want.
taco nights piece of cake to Mcdougal and let others go for the animal stuff.
Burger nights ( so easy to accomodate other people and eat my homemade veggie bean burger often I just skip the bun )
throw in some homemade potatoes or fries and you are set.
Pizza nights ( we make mini's and everyone puts what they want on it. ) Mine has been Vegan for years and no one notices or cares.
Baked Potato Bar
Pasta Night
Huge salad options so anyone can make what they want and you do your thing.

For going to others homes I call ahead and I just ask what they are planning in a nice social way. Then I just let them know I will make a delicious salad to bring along. I usually show up with some hot baked potatoes and salad ( I bring a bottle of my homemade dressing) to help the host out. I eat great and I don't have to agonize about getting sick the next day. This has never never failed me.

For restaurants I look at the menu ahead of time and call sometimes. I often request that we end up somewhere that I can have a baked potato , hashbrowns and a salad bar. Thats my GOTO. I second the suggestion above Call ahead and you can get some pretty great stuff by selecting a chinese or mexican restuarant, even a steakhouse. I have ate some pretty great Vegan food just ordering sides or calling ahead and asking them to steam things etc.

Now parents and siblings eat everything loaded with cheese and milk. I can not eat a single recipe they make but we have entertained eachother in peace and posterity for 20 years. My mom constantly buys spaghetti sauce ful of milk. It irritates me to no end because I don't want to offend her and I am happy to just bring my own spaghetti sauce. She also makes gravy full of stuff I can't have that is why I usually have a jar or two of good sauces and products when I fly to visit. I know every jar that I can have in a normal grocery store so a quick run to get a few things and I can stay at my families house for a week and eat vegan.
Now keeping the oil out is tricky but since my family knows I am eccentric that helps.

Also my one child has fructose intolerance so grandma can't buy all that stupid corn syrup garbage. This helps alot as well. They still don't get that my kids don't drink their calories but they live a few hours away so its all good.

I should mention that I have some friends who can't believe we have no milk in our house. They bring a cooler when they come over to our house for dinner. :-D What goes around comes around so its all good . We have been dear friends for 10 years.
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