Bea's Journal

[BHealthy]

Kirk - swimming is awesome for working out when the joints are messed up. It's so fun, too. I wear resistance gloves and also use water weights - which adds to resistance. I also have these rubber cords that are good for working out. I just wish the pool were deeper - like 9 feet - at some point for aqua-jogging stuff. I hope your leg heals soon for you to be able to enjoy some pool time.

Sksamboots - it was pretty cool being in the pool in daylight before anyone was up. It was so hot last night that I didn't sleep at all, so the pool really cooled things off. Ahhhhhh.

Letha - I do love swimming. I will be rejoining my health club in Sept to have access to a pool. It opens at 5 am and closes at 10 pm - so that's a good range of time. Plus they have some excellent aqua-aerobics classes early and mid morning (I'll be at work) and evenings and Saturdays. I had the old McDougall tapes but gave them away when I got the DVDs. I should have kept them to listen to in my dandy old car.

Well, I weighed at the doctor's office today. On July 7th I weighed 429 and today I weighed 409 so the weight is starting to come off. I sure wish this fluid would go away. I still have that darn pitting edema and swelling from the waist down. Grrrrrrrr.

I gave blood today and realized I hadn't eaten for many hours so I did the best I could there - drank 3 cups of V-8 and ate a little bag of Rolled Gold pretzels.

Time to go eat something delicious . . . hmmmm . . . watermelon? canteloupe? pineapple? a peach? an apple? strawberries? blueberries? I am totally spoiling myself!

[Anna Green]

Bea, I wish you could see my gigantic smile at your success!!! You go!

HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY !!!!!!!

[KareninTN]

Sounds like you're doing great; keep it up!

Karen

[sksamboots]

You've lost 20 pounds , Amazing

[BHealthy]

Thanks so much for the kudos Anna, Karen and sksamboots. I really appreciate your support.

[BHealthy]

I just returned from a luncheon with friends. I brought the fruit salad and hummus and balsamic vinegar. That way I knew I'd have something to eat with my friends' veggies and spinach salad. We had spinach with walnuts (I ate 2 walnut halves) and peaches. I used balsamic vinegar instead of the poppy seed dressing with oil. I passed on the shrimp kabobs and nan crackers.

We also had fresh blackberry cobbler. My friend told me she'd made it with soy milk and no butter, especially so I could have some. I ate a small piece because I wanted to show her appreciation for the kind effort and because I wanted some. I skipped the ice cream or whipped cream - of course. This is a relatively new friend who doesn't really know the program. Fortunately, during lunch someone asked me about it so I could explain about no added fats etc and now she knows and I haven't hurt her feelings.

The thing that really makes me happy about how I ate at this gathering is that I wasn't worried or fretting about what I ate. I told myself to enjoy the walnut halves and the blackberry cobbler. I wasn't thinking - now I'm going to go buy cookies, chips etc. I felt at peace - not that kind of "I'm cheating" mentality of the past. Do I want to go back and cobble down the rest of that cobbler? No. Am I going to eat a high fat meal for dinner because I "already blew it"? No. In fact, I don't think I blew anything. I consciously chose to eat what I ate and didn't eat more. This is a lifestyle choice and I'm proud of it.

I'll be heading to the pool tonight. It's only been in the high 80s today and what a relief that has been! Bring on the autumn weather! Well, in 4 weeks, at least.

[f1jim]

Your attitude is a good one. Many people worry more than the people they are with! I find if you are firm and resolute people come to admire that. If they see you swaying in the breeze when something tasty comes along they won't take your diet and lifestyle changes seriously.
I am proud you represented us McDougallers well.
f1jim

[Anna Green]

Bea, I think I get what you are saying and you know I can learn from it. I am starting (just starting) to find that place in which I can live without the eating drama. I will eat healthy almost all of the time and when I choose to eat something not MWL I'll actually choose and not do it mindlessly and out of control. It seems the more I think this way the less SAD and compulsive I am eating. I hope that makes sense. Whatever. I am just happy for you that you are doing well.

[BHealthy]

Jim - thanks for the encouragement! You do that a lot on this forum and it really helps.

Anna - I was thinking about the eating/weight loss thing and trying to remind myself that it's only ONE part of who I am. I think for most of my youth (I was just a 20-30 pounds overweight by Twiggy standards in my teens) and adulthood - it was the way I identified myself. As if it was WHO I was. And it became a negative identity - if you know what I mean. It colored just about everything I did or thought I could do. As a result, it limited so much of what I believed about myself and did. When I was in college I received a letter from Mademoiselle magazine asking me to submit poetry for their competition. For years and years I'd read that magazine - it was so hip and the poetry competition was so incredible - I loved the fashion, the haircuts - the poetry they published - but I knew they featured the poets modeling hip clothes when they published their poems - so I didn't send any of my poems. I was afraid of being rejected because I was fat to be modeling hip clothes. Not that I would have won anyway - but that was the first thing that came to my mind. I'm not thin enough to try. Isn't it strange how we pick one negative element of ourselves to latch onto as the defining element? I've got a lot more thinking to do about that one...because even at this ripe old age I realize I've accepted some definitions of myself that really aren't true, let alone that don't need to be the focus. We are more than how we eat or what size we wear. Those are important - especially for health and the ease of fitting into the world - but they hardly warrant the emotional stress and time I've allowed them to take up in my life.

I'm eating fine and dandy. Oh my gosh - that fruit salad (local blueberries, watermelon, canteloupe, pineapple, strawberries) was nirvana for breakfast!

Fell asleep and missed my swim last night. I will definitely stay awake and swim tonight. Got some good news that a nearby pool that had been closed - was purchased and will be opened for community use. If they've removed the bulkhead - I should be able to swim laps there before work (if they open by 5 am...I HOPE) or in the evenings. It's regulation length, too which I really like. I'll have to check out the cost and the getting in/out situation...plus when it opens.

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

[Ege Bamyasi]

Congratulations on your 20 lbs. lost so far, and may your trip out of the 400s for good be a speedy and rewarding one.

I just love reading your positive and reaffirming attitude after that luncheon. I'd have to say you handled everything in the best possible manner, and even if there were a couple extra fat grams to be had that day it means nothing in the final analysis as long as you stay committed to the eating plan and yourself.

Reading your reply to Anna has me thinking about just how much my own self image had been damaged due to my weight problems by a very early age. How many lives don't get lived to anything near their fullest because of these horrible image issues in our society? I don't know, but I do know that it's a lot of wasted human potential when you add it all up. There ain't no way that's right.

I hope your weekend is grand, Bea.

[BHealthy]

Thanks for the visit, Kirk. You give me things to think about when I read your journal, as well. I do look forward to getting into the 300s, but not staying there for long.

I got my water workout in last night. Was able to do 12 laps and noticed it being easier. My knee was extra sore on Thursday and Friday and I felt that might be a reason not to workout - or more of an excuse to avoid it. Last night I DID NOT want to go swim and started telling myself that my knee was still hurting - but then said maybe working out will help it not hurt so much so I did the workout - big time! Today my knee does feel better so that excuse has now been called on the carpet. Darn. Or great - depending on the perspective that day.

Decided to log my meals now and then so these were the meals eaten yesterday.

Breakfast: Fruit Salad (blueberries, strawberries, pineapple, watermelon, canteloupe)

Lunch: Veggie Wraps (sprouted grain whole wheat tortillas, peas, corn, carrot, bell pepper, red onion, hummus, balsamic vinegar)

Dinner: Salad (black beans, romaine, celery, cauliflower, bell peppers, corn, peas, carrots, red onion, tomatoes, salsa, hummus dressing)

[Anna Green]

Bea, Your food sounds awesome. You did it last night with the swimming! When are you starting work? Teaching right? You seem to be getting ready and I am proud of you.

You along with a few others here are inspiring me to get rid of the excuses and just do it.

[sksamboots]

Good job on going swimming!!!!

[BHealthy]

Anna - I am starting back now. I'm reading and studying up on some ideas I want to implement this year. We officially start back the last week of August, but most everyone I know begins a few weeks earlier planning, meeting with team mates, getting the classroom unpacked and set up again and getting some new materials ready etc taking some tech and content workshops, buying supplies. . .

Sksamboots - wish you could join me for a swim one of these nights. It's such a good workout and then you can float around and cool off. Shooting star season is about to begin, too, so that makes floating on your back looking up at the stars a lot of fun.

Now I'm going to try imbedding a link as per Letha's excellent instructions...

Dr. McDougall on His Unhealthy Years

[Melinda]

Good for you! You are doing wonderfully. As an aside, and having a few teachers in the family, I don't think a lot of people realize how hard teachers work, and how dedicated they are!