Precipitous Change

Share your daily McDougall menus and/or keep a journal describing your personal progress.

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Two year hiatus

Postby Principality » Fri May 11, 2018 8:06 am

Well you can ignore the lifestyle but it is always there in the back of your mind guilt tripping you because you know deep down inside you are not doing the right thing. Two years, where did it go. Well I divorced in the US and remarried in Canada and have been here almost a year. No longer can use the excuse that I’m new and stressed and incapable of making good choices for myself so it is time to get back to McDougalling.

Starting Weight : 213
Desired Weight : 170

So I made a huge pot of soup. Super -di-dooper soup with beans, veggies, spinach, barley....really good freaking soup. I froze some and intend for it to be my salvation when I get the hungries and know that horrible choices are just a walk away. I went from living in the country middle of no where to the city and I now feel the brunt of too many choices. Most of these choices are very very bad. Speaking of walkiing I now do a lot of it. Though it has in no way affected my weight. Hmm, I guess it’s the food. Poor Dr. Mcdougall must roll his eyes everytime one of us comes to that conclusion that he has been screaming for years. I McDougalled years ago to drop my cholesterol from 230 to 193. I know it works when I have a mission. I am in Canada now and not quite been given Permanant resident status. Thus, I do not have healthcare or a doctor and no way of getting numbers to help me gauge my success like before. There is always weight but that can be a hard motivator. We will see. So, right now I have everything necessary for success, potatoes, frozen veggies, lots of starches, THE SOUP, and only feel I am missing oatmeal. I do have a huge stressor in June for 3 weeks, my kids are coming to visit and we have a lot of outings planned and I can admit I will be feeding them whatever they desire and probably sampling it all along the way. However, it is only three weeks out of a year and then I am back to my own routine. Regardless it is simply a matter of motivation and I have not trully found what motivates me. I am not battling chronic illness. I am overweight and my knees hurt. I assume my blood work sucks but have no way to prove it. Eating this way is simply the right thing to do but doing the right thing doesn’t always seem easiest...even if it is simplest. So, my newest and next priority is to find daily motivation to stay here and do this just because I should.
Starting weight : 240lbs, current 235.9 change -4.1
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Re: Precipitous Change

Postby moonlight » Fri May 11, 2018 4:47 pm

Welcome back! Kudos to you!!
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Re: Precipitous Change

Postby Principality » Sat May 12, 2018 7:30 am

Thanks moonlight, I love your signature quote. I find myself reading it often.

Todays motivation was grocery shopping. Now this is something that I have grown fond of due to the challenge it creates. It nets me an easy 5000 steps getting there and back. My healths best saving grace is that I am cheap...tooo cheap to take a bus where I can walk. Plus you would be surprised at how little spontaneity buying appeals when you have to lug it all the way back home. I have a backpack and two other cloth grocery bags, one for each hand. No one ever panhandles me on the way home. I think the look of grim determination scares them. Anyway, I am in Ottawa, ON Canada so food is not cheap, but I only had 50 to spend and I wanted enough for two weeks. I am lucky enough to have some frozen fruit and veggies in the freezer and barley and rice in the pantry, and few potatoes left. So obviously this wasn’t a starvation trip but I did want to round out my MWL loot so I don’t get the idea I have nothing to eat. I was there when they opened which is such a peaceful time to shop and think. I got tomatoes, oranges,apples,carrots, cabbage, onions, sweet potatoes, Almond milk, rice milk, and bulgur and tofu. I also got one household item and jello mix for 47 bucks. So I am pretty happy with all the good things I got for the money I spent. I am even happier to be back at home with my prizes put away and 5000 steps down. My barley was waiting and my raspberries had thawed and I combined them with my rice milk and for once feel I earned my breakfast. Tastes better that way. Kinda like The Pleasure Trap says, “Happiness is the result of making progress...”. I certainly am in a happy mood now.
Starting weight : 240lbs, current 235.9 change -4.1
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Re: Precipitous Change

Postby moonlight » Sat May 12, 2018 8:46 am

I'm envious that you can walk and take a bus to the grocery store. That is so very cool. Thanks for sharing the 5000 step measurement. Grocery shopping is one on my least favorite activities, even though I love good fresh food. I'll start tracking my steps and see if that helps me nourish the joys of grocery shopping! I hope you have a great week with all you good food. :cool:
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Re: Precipitous Change

Postby Principality » Sun May 13, 2018 9:29 am

My two older sisters are picky eaters. I am not! This came as a great relief to my mom after two children that made meal times trials. I will pretty much happily eat Anything. Which is now a problem because I can binge eat anything. Trigger foods? I wish I had only one or two to name but I am not that picky. I never thought I would wish I was, but now I could see the usefulness at being quick to turn my nose up at something...anything. Now the flip side is I will eat foods that are healthy too...in excess. I can say with only minimal shame that I wish I were still at home where I had no say over what or when I ate. It would alleviate being responsible for my choices and I could pass the blame and bask in the “she is our good eater” glow. However, adulting demands ownership of this blessing turned curse and management of it. I also eat fast and do not often realize how hungry I am until I begin to eat. I think this is the easy fix though as regular meal times would keep me from then h-angriess which lead to eating quickly. Yesterday was the first time I ate, then we were going to go get something awful for dessert but got side tracked. That 30 minute side track was just enough for me to realize I was not hungry for the treat. Yet, I acknowledged this and Still wanted to go get the treat. It has been 14 years since I was trim and I have been giving the visualization exercises some use on here some thought. Needless to say I have a Lot to workout behaviourally, attitude wise, and choice wise. I obviously need some goal setting and small steps to incorporate changes. At this very second is seems like a huge insurmountable chore. A little while ago I made a checklist for ease of use to remember to drink water, set up a Jeff placemat type plate, get my steps. I may fine tune that instead but it is not goals per sey. Well that is all the ideas bouncing around in my head. None of them are really a plan of action or commitment.

So, todays good, bad, and ugly so far

Good was breakfast, barley peach rice milk bowl.

Bad was the piece of fish I tested after cooking it since it was what my spouse was having for dinner.

Ugly was the coffee with creamer I followed that with because Imfelt guilty.

And it is only 11:36am
Starting weight : 240lbs, current 235.9 change -4.1
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Re: Precipitous Change

Postby Rosey » Sun May 13, 2018 8:30 pm

You got this!!! HUGS!!! We can do it.
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Re: Precipitous Change

Postby Principality » Mon May 14, 2018 5:25 am

Thanks Rosey!

I did make a checklist yesterday and feel better about the world. Lol, control issues much? I get a little anxious when there are too many choices, which in todays world is always. Thus, I am making eating, the one and only thing I can control, as monotonous and repetitive as I can. There is just no other way around it for me. The mechanisms are not in place for me personally to cook meals right now without blowing the plan daily. I seldom make more than one meal in compliance, one vegan, and one SAD. Like many people on these boards, I think it might be an all or nothing sort of issue. My best hope is simple and mindless. I have barley, rasperries, and rice milk for breakfast, bean vegetable soup for lunch, potatoes and California veggies for dinner, with an apple in there for snack. It’s all there just hanging out for me to eat it and the less I think about it and or food in general the better. So for lack of a better term, I am practicing good old fashioned SAD food shunning today. The goal is to remain distracted, we shall see how it goes. I would love to get a hold on this for me over the rest of May since my kids are coming for 3 weeks in June and that is going to really up the challenge, though I will be distracted.
Starting weight : 240lbs, current 235.9 change -4.1
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Principality
 
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Re: Precipitous Change

Postby keithswife » Mon May 14, 2018 10:43 am

I had to chuckle at your control issues comment. Once, when I was really motivated to make some life changes, I made lists, created boards on PInterest, and made some pretty awesome menus and exercise spreadsheets. I was so proud of myself when I was finished. The problem was, I never started! I guess I didn't want to mess up my perfect lists, spreadsheets, and pinterest boards, lol :D
"One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well." - Virginia Woolf
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Re: Precipitous Change

Postby Rosey » Mon May 14, 2018 9:07 pm

keithswife wrote:I had to chuckle at your control issues comment. Once, when I was really motivated to make some life changes, I made lists, created boards on PInterest, and made some pretty awesome menus and exercise spreadsheets. I was so proud of myself when I was finished. The problem was, I never started! I guess I didn't want to mess up my perfect lists, spreadsheets, and pinterest boards, lol :D


laugh. I've done that same thing.
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Re: Precipitous Change

Postby Principality » Tue May 15, 2018 7:25 am

Lol, It is so nice to be in good company. We are such great planners! My follow through sucks to be sure...everyday....like around about 3 pm. But it really is the planning that gives me the high.
Starting weight : 240lbs, current 235.9 change -4.1
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Re: Precipitous Change

Postby Principality » Tue May 15, 2018 7:53 am

Still breakfasting like a boss. The ready made whole grain (right now it is pot barley) with fruit (right now it is either frozen raspberries or peaches) with cinnamon and rice milk is working for me. It is variable enough yet boring and mindless enough. I am able to have enough made for a week at a go and 2 min in the microwave so super easy. I am very happy to have one meal regularly under control.

Lunch should be as goood as breakfast...but it is not. I have a bean vegetable soup of pure awesomeness. I made enough for this week and have enough for next in the freezer. I don’t look forwaerd to it though. Which is funny because when I grudgingly heat it up and eat it I am struck by how awesome it is and I enjoy it. Yet by three o’clock I want a reward for being good when the food is its own reward. I’m spoiled and maybe need a lobotomy.

Dinner needs work. I have all the ingredients for success. However, (as ludicrous as it seems) I have a tough time putting them on the plate and eating them. I know that sounds dumb, I think it is dumb. My limbs work. I have plates. Even I am not sure where the disconnect is. Thus the desire for the lobotomy. Since this is a constant fail, I think I need to make the plate worth ahead of time so it need only heated and eated (sorry the rhyming made me giggle I know it should be eaten). I think making this autopilotable during my more controlled and lucid times is the best bet. Maybe one day I will look forward to this food instead of a lobotomy. Till then I’ll just have to take out the choices and thinking to make it happen. I always thought being a thinking entity made me better. I really do question that nowadays.
Starting weight : 240lbs, current 235.9 change -4.1
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Re: Precipitous Change

Postby moonlight » Tue May 15, 2018 9:47 am

You're making me laugh today! :D Good luck with that lunch and dinner plan!!

I often fix my plate and watch TV or surf the internet while I eat because I'm trying so hard to not salt my food. It gets the mind off the "poor pitiful me" habit of feeling deprived.
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Re: Precipitous Change

Postby Principality » Tue May 15, 2018 3:54 pm

Today’s fail was hotdogs. i feel a lack of accountability on my part and since I have no ethical issues eating SAD, enjoy the taste, and have 0 will power to say no when it is offered. I think the best bet is to write it all down here. Maybe good ole fashioned shame will help me do the right thing.

So, breakfast
Barley
Peaches
Rice milk
Coffee with real creamer (I can use rice milk if I have tea and am working on doing this instead)

Lunch
Veggie Bean soup

Dinner
2 hotdogs on white bread buns with cheese ketchup mustard and relish (funny thing is it didn’t really taste like much and I am wiling to bet those same condiments on potatoes would have been satisfying. I will admit the texture is nice. I really really like having to chew my food. The barley gives me some of that in the morning, I’m not so much wanting crunch I could get that from raw veggies, but meat texture. Anyway it was a horrid choice and now I cannot pretend it didn’t happen and post, “but I don’t know why I’m over weight, I’ve been compliant.” Sigh There goes plausible deniability.

Snack
Apple
Starting weight : 240lbs, current 235.9 change -4.1
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Location: Ontario

Re: Precipitous Change

Postby Principality » Tue May 15, 2018 4:14 pm

I may need to back off MWL and switch to plain ole Mcdougalling. I just put two tofu in to bake and realized tofu is not MWL compliant. Well I refuse to waste it and it is one the regular plans option I believe. I maybe need to reassess which one is more livable.
Starting weight : 240lbs, current 235.9 change -4.1
User avatar
Principality
 
Posts: 104
Joined: Tue Jun 21, 2016 12:53 pm
Location: Ontario

Re: Precipitous Change

Postby Principality » Wed May 16, 2018 5:21 am

New Day! Trying to summon some of the passion Roundcoconut journalled about. I’m getting a steady state of “meh” butttttt it is still pre -caffeination and the day has only just begun. I’ve always been a low energy person, not lethargic, but somewhat unmoved by most everything. While I am glad of this as most hot button issues garner an eye roll out of me vs getting me upset, it would really help the motivational department if I was a little more passionate. I lump passionate and stressed together. Will have to ponder that more.

I was reading other mcdougallers as usual and mulling over techniques, ideas, and means by which they do what they do. A line from Skyscraper really got me thinking. That poster seems very laid back and that is something I would like to cultivate. I decided to drop gears to regular McDougalling vs MWL. I would rather have the extra items available to me so that I can be compliant. I think managing to be compliant on anything, even the less stringent program would help with confidence.

So today’s plan is

Bulgur with raspberries and rice milk (1/2 cup cooked bulgur, 1/2 cup raspberries, 1/4 cup rice dream)
Coffee with regular creamer (not my first priority to change but limited to one a day)

1 slice ezekiel bread with 1 tbsp hummus (5000 step to grocery store)

Bean vegetable soup
Apple

Potates and carrots boiled
2 pieces tofu
Frozen California vegetables steamed

Bowl raisin bran with rice milk
Last edited by Principality on Wed May 16, 2018 8:38 am, edited 2 times in total.
Starting weight : 240lbs, current 235.9 change -4.1
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Posts: 104
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