Victoria’s journal

[OrWhatever]

I was looking through my journal from 2017 and it was super helpful to see how it went and what my headspace was like then, so I’ve decided to start from day 1 this time in case I need extra motivation later. I’m easing in a bit this time, so I probably won’t start recording all my food until I’m around 90% compliant or better.

I don’t have starting bloodwork this time, but since my bloodwork has never been an issue before, I’m fine not tracking it, or waiting until my next checkup to start.

My weight has gone up a lot in the last 6 years, from 144lb to 169lb. I’m technically not overweight for 5’9”, but I’m only 1-2lbs away from it. Part of that is menopause, but the main factor was recreational eating, and choosing food for the taste rather than the nutritional value. I locked down completely for over a year, trapped in my apartment, going outside only for doctor’s appointments, and food became one of the only things I had to look forward to. I’ve never really experienced that before and I’m hoping it doesn’t make changing back to simple eating habits inordinately difficult.

My sarcoidosis is still in remission, and my psoriasis is mild. I have maybe 5-6 lesions on my arms and torso, most of them smaller than a dime. I have developed methane SIBO since the last time I did this, so I’ll have an extra challenge trying to avoid fodmaps, but I have seen reports of some other McDougallers healing from SIBO and IBS so maybe this will help. I hope so because I’d love to be able to eat a variety of fruits and veggies again without pain.

I would rate my current focus at about 6/10 and energy 6/10 as well. I have frequent back pain and headaches that I think are connected to my neck/upper back. My skin is ok, not glowing but few acne breakouts. It is oily and congested most of the time. I’m not saying this to whine, I just want a baseline because it seems like in 2017 those areas improved a lot and I want to capture that. I have a memory disorder that keeps me from remembering my past experiences in any detail, and what my life was like more than a few weeks in the past.

I noticed from my journals that one of the things that really helped me last time was Jeff Novick’s DVDs. I no longer have a player and gave the discs away, but I assume I can download them somewhere so I’m going to look for that today. Convenience is probably my biggest food issue. I don’t enjoy cooking, and I don’t keep a lot of fresh foods on hand because I end up throwing some of it out and feeling guilty about it. I do try to keep up with my batch cooking but more often than not lately, I’m relying on smoothies, canned soups and PB&J sandwiches.

So my plan for this week:

Find and download Jeff’s videos

Make a list of 2-3 SNAP meals to eat in the upcoming days

Make a big batch of bean burgers and freeze them. Last time they were a lunch staple.

Go through my fridge and cupboards and get rid of most of my non-compliant foods. I will use up my stocks of things like canned lentil soup and packaged grain and veggie bowls, but I won’t buy them in the future.

Read over my old journals if I feel my motivation slipping

[OrWhatever]

My motivation for doing this:

More energy

Weight loss (20-30 pounds)

Clearer skin

Less psoriasis

Keep sarcoidosis in remission

Improve/eliminate SIBO symptoms

My goals:

Stay 80-90% compliant with basic Starch Solution plan

Start hiking and biking again

Continue to journal, even if things are going poorly. Due to my memory issues, I can’t remember how or why I stopped McDougall in 2018, after things were going so great in 2017. It would have been really helpful to have a few journal posts about that, so I could avoid making the same mistakes in the future.

[OrWhatever]

I’m not sure what happened to yesterday’s update, but things are going pretty well. I would say I am at about 80% compliance and I’ve been figuring out what preparation and changes I need to make to get to 90-95%. I don’t think I will get to 100, not because I plan to eat non compliant food, but just that unless I have trouble losing weight, I will be eating more high fat plant based foods than seems to be recommended, especially tofu and tempeh. With my calories under 2000 I am having trouble reaching my RDA for protein so unless I get used to cooked greens for protein (I’m trying but I really really don’t like them) I will be having up to 3 oz of soy every day. I also plan to eat up to 1/2 an avocado and 1-2oz of nuts on days that I want them.

Yesterday I had oatmeal for breakfast, a fast food salad with lemon juice and Italian herbs and a potato I smuggled in in my purse for lunch, and for dinner I had 1/4 of this recipe and 1/2 an avocado over brown rice:

1 can black beans
1 can diced tomatoes
1 bag frozen corn
2 Tbsp taco seasoning mix

I should have had a bigger lunch and could have added some fruit to my breakfast and green/yellow veggies to dinner, but overall it was pretty good. I am planning to buy some frozen fruit after work to add to oatmeal going forward, and plan to use frozen cauliflower in my next stew.

[OrWhatever]

Got some baseline numbers from my scale today

Weight: 168.2lb

BMI: 24.9 k/m2

Body fat: 29.5% (I suspect this is low, but I’ll track it to see progress)

Lean mass: 111.4lb (wish this were true, but still useful for seeing trends)

BMR: 1531kcal (when I tested my BMR some years ago it was about 10% higher than predicted, so the reality might be closer to 1685)

Body water: 48.4%

Metabolic age: 49y

Ideally I’d like to get to about 135-145 lbs (BMI 20-21.5) and body fat in the low 20’s. I think the scale is underestimating my body fat, so probably would read this as high teens. It would also be great to get my metabolic age lower than my actual age (currently 48)

[OrWhatever]

Friday April 7
Weight 167.8 -1lb
BMI 24.7

The last 2 days have been ok, not perfect but probably 70-80%. This is yesterday’s:

Breakfast:
Oatmeal with maple syrup and pumpkin pie spice
Coffee with Splenda and 1 oz unsweetened almond milk

Lunch:
Bean burger from Jeff Novick’s “fast food” series
Whole wheat sandwich thin
Lettuce
Tomato
Pickles
Mustard

Dinner:
Black bean, corn and tomato stew
Brown rice
1/2 avocado

I did have a small non-compliant treat that I shouldn’t have (140 calories). I am going to try to find a compliant dessert I can have after dinner so I won’t be tempted by what my husband is eating. I know it should be fresh whole fruit but I might need to work up to that.

Other things I can see that I could improve on:

Not enough green and yellow veggies and fruit. I’m eating almost 100% starches, which is tasty but might not be 100% nutritionally complete. I’ll try eating a couple of mandarin oranges before breakfast today, and a small salad at lunch. My planned dinner has cauliflower in it so hopefully that will do me for dinner veg.

I’m not eating enough food. My total intake yesterday was under 1000 calories. My portion sizes are too small. I’m going to try serving out an appropriately sized serving at meals, and then if I don’t finish, put the rest away for later.

I have lost a pound since Wednesday morning, which isn’t too surprising given how few calories I’ve been eating. It is faster than I’d like, but I think if I start eating more I’ll be able to get to my desired pace if 1/2 to 1 pound a week. Ideally I’d like to be eating at the maintenance level for my goal weight right from the start so there’s no transition from losing to maintaining, I just make a one time permanent change. I don’t mind if it takes a year or more to lose 20-30 pounds. I just want to feel better, the weight loss is lower priority.

If anyone is reading this, I'm open to critiques and suggestions. Based on my diary, last time I was good with only eating compliant foods, but not really in the right proportions for best health and maintaining my ideal weight. If I fall into that trap again it would help me if someone could point it out.

[VegSeekingFit]

Hi Victoria!

It sounds like you are off to an amazing start!

I am with you 100% on eating now on how you intend to go forward.

What helped me a ton --- was always to keep in mind to EAT when hungry (don't stuff and don't starve). Eat the recommended foods - have some veggies / fruit with the starch (but focus on the starch being at least 50% of visual volume).

Wishing you the Best,
Stephanie

[OrWhatever]

Thank you Stephanie, that’s definitely something that has tripped me up before. I *think* I’m doing my self a favour eating extra non-starchy vegetables at meals, but then an hour later I’m cruising the fridge for hummus and nuts and guacamole because I’m ravenous and only rich foods are appealing. I seem to be eating more starches this time and was beating myself up about it, but maybe I shouldn’t be so quick to try to add a bunch more unfilling vegetables, after all the program does say 70-90% starch. I have a tendency to make things more difficult than they have to be, and it usually doesn’t end well.

I think one of the problems is that I don’t grocery shop enough. The cupboard will start to get bare and I’ll try to make do with what I have, even if it isn’t very satisfying. Im looking forward to moving from our city apartment to a house out in farm country this summer so I can have a pantry and a garden and I always have plenty of food available between trips to the grocery store. Until then I just need to make the time to go, or pay up for delivery. I’ve never had a food garden before so I’ll start small, but I have tons of space and good rich soil so eventually I’d like to grow most of my own produce.

I did end up finding and downloading Jeff Novick’s fast food videos (1 and 2 so far) and they have been a lifesaver! I had forgotten how easy this could be. I can definitely see myself maintaining this long term. So far I’ve made burgers and curry and plan to make a big batch of different flavoured burgers on the weekend, and make Italian pasta primavera, Mexican stew, and longevity soup next week for dinners. My breakfast is already on autopilot, oatmeal every morning. I plan to buy frozen mixed berries today and start adding them to my oatmeal tomorrow.

So far, this way of eating has been great. I’m not feeling deprived, the food is tasty, and cooking is even easier than before. Last night was ‘take out’ night and I honestly didn’t miss the heavy, greasy restaurant food at all! For the life of me I can’t figure out why I stopped eating this way 5 years ago, it’s so easy and I already feel more energetic and less stressed. I’m going to try to keep journaling and if I feel like trying something different, hopefully coming back and reading about all the great changes will help me stick with it.

[OrWhatever]

April 8
Weight 166.8 -1.4
BMI 24.6

Yesterday was mostly very good, except a small bout of emotional eating after my therapy session. At least I didn’t eat much, just about 150 calories of non-compliant sweets (and the last of it in the apartment, I won’t be buying more.)

Otherwise, here’s how my day went:

Breakfast (spread over 2 sittings)
2 mandarin oranges
Bowl of oatmeal (~2 cups I’d guess)
2 Tbsp maple syrup
Pumpkin pie spice

Lunch
Jeff Novick fast food burger
Sandwich thins
Lettuce
Tomato
Mustard
1 Mandarin orange

Dinner
Curry 1/4 recipe:
Can of chickpeas
Bag of frozen cauliflower
Can of diced tomato
Can of water
2Tbsp curry paste (does contain oil - I just bought dry curry spices for future use)
Served on About a cup of brown rice

Just got back from grocery shopping, it was more expensive than I expected, but going through the receipt I see I did buy a lot of convenience items like washed and chopped fruits and veggies and some McDougall soups to try. No regrets, really, the easier I make it, the more likely I am to sustain it long term. I read someone else here saying they think of their grocery bill as both food expense, and medical, since they are saving on medications and interventions in the long run, and I think that’s a good way to think of it. Besides, it’s still cheaper than vegan cheese and veggie burgers and all the other processed foods we were eating before.

[Starflower]

Good for you not beating yourself up over a small slip! Well done!

[OrWhatever]

Thank you Starflower! I’m trying to just focus on doing my best and not trying to be perfect. I think the more I beat myself up for mistakes the harder this seems and the more likely I am to just quit.

I do find it gets easier in time as my tastes change. I thought I’d be going crazy without my after dinner cookie, but I don’t actually miss it much. That being said, I am glad they aren’t in the house anymore!

[OrWhatever]

April 10
BMI 24.8

I’ve decided to stop recording my weight and only record BMI. I know they are essentially the same thing, but I feel like I’m emotionally invested in my actual weight, whereas BMI just feels like a measure of health, not worth, or attractiveness, self discipline, etc. I think especially being taller than average at 5’9”, even when I’m lean, the number is higher than what I’ve been socialized to think a woman “should” weigh. Hopefully this will also help me let go of the idea of a goal weight and just aim to be lean and comfortable and focus on my behaviours rather than the number on my scale. I do want to get to and stay in the healthiest range, which appears to be about 18-22, but that’s a decent sized range and I think if I follow the regular plan I’ll eventually land there.

Yesterday was a good day overall.

Food wise:

Breakfast
Oatmeal and a banana
1/2 oz mixed raw nuts
1/2 oz dried fruit

Lunch
Chickpea cauliflower curry
Baked potato
Crudite veggies

Snack
1Tbsp PB & 1tsp J on whole wheat sandwich thin (could do better; need to come up with filling snack ideas)

Dinner
Jeff N burger on whole wheat sandwich thin
1/6 avocado
Lettuce, tomato, pickles, mustard
Oven fries

Strawberries and raspberries with 1/2tsp shredded unsweetened coconut and 1tsp 88% cocoa dark chocolate

(I don’t weigh and measure my starch, fruit or veggies, just the higher calorie density food)

Exercise
1 hour of dancing (midnight to 1am, at a Saturday night concert. I have a Fitbit so I measure midnight-midnight.

75 minutes walking on the treadmill while watching a Dr McDougall lecture on YouTube

[OrWhatever]

This is a test to see if posting is working again. I tried to post yesterday and kept getting an error message

ETA seems to be working. Yesterday’s post:

N

April 12
BMI 24.9

Scale was up but I put way too much salt on my dinner last night and today my eyelids are puffy and so I know it’s water weight.

B
Oatmeal
Mixed fruit
1.5 Tbsp Maple syrup

L
Jeff N burger
1/4 Avocado
Oven fries
Pepper strips

D
Whole wheat pasta
Marinara sauce
Canned crushed tomatoes
Broccoli
Cauliflower
Red peppers
1 Tbsp Crushed Cashews
1 Tbsp Nutritional yeast

Snacks
2 sq 88 % cocoa chocolate
Watermelon

Exercise
9.7k steps
20 minute peloton
XBX
PT x 2 sets

Today we are going to do a walkthrough of the house with our contractor. I might go scope out the area I was thinking of putting a garden in. Looking forward to seeing the house again and I can’t wait to take possession next month! Because it’s a hike from here we’ll be gone for several hours so I’m bringing some fruit and PB&J on whole wheat. Not the most nutritious lunch, but it packs well and doesn’t need to be reheated so It will do.

[OrWhatever]

April 16
BMI 24.7

My meals have all been compliant, but I’m still having too many processed snacks. It’s stupid, I know I should throw them out but they were expensive and it’s hard not to see it as a waste of money, even though eating them isn’t getting my money back. It was pretty easy to get rid of the super processed obvious junk foods like Oreo cookies or vegan doughnuts, but things like organic granola and fruit/nut bars are a lot harder, because they have that health halo that makes them seem like a sensible choice and a better alternative to the ‘real’ junk food. The big problem for me is it’s a slippery slope, and I am surrounded by people preaching moderation with eating, so it starts with a little treat now and then, to a weekly occasion, then just a tiny bit after dinner, and soon I’m eating coconut yogurt and granola for breakfast, canned soup and saltines for lunch, and a veggie burger with a tiny salad for dinner, plus my little evening treat, and thinking my diet is super healthy, when in reality it’s stuffed with fat, sugar, salt and chemicals.

I’m not sure where I’m going with this rant, but maybe I’ll remember this when I’m at the store and tempted to buy a “healthy” treat, and think twice about it. I did do a little better at the farmers market today, avoiding my usual almond meal cake and organic vegan cherry pie. I did get a pint of fresh orange juice, which seemed like a decent choice at the time but now I’m reconsidering. I guess my super fit and active husband can drink it and I can enjoy it vicariously

Ok so I guess my rant did have some value, because when I started typing about the OJ, I was about to justify it to myself and anyone reading this but I recognized that I was doing exactly what I had just talked about trying to stop doing

[OrWhatever]

April 17
BMI ?

Yesterday was a good day. Went to the farmers market and picked up some strawberries and tangerines. I looked at the potatoes and carrots but they didn’t look great so I’ll pick some up at the supermarket instead. Then later my friend came over and we batch cooked about 16-20 servings of a SNAP meal. Normally I wouldn’t bother batch cooking something so simple, but I’m going away for 12 days starting this week and I know without something a 5 minute microwave away he’ll live on PB&J and breakfast cereal the whole time. He’s the only person I know who is lazier than me in the kitchen

I am planning to make a few SNAP meals at my parents house just to keep things simple. I
think they would like the Indian and Mexican versions, though they might need to add salt to the curry to enjoy it (the Mexican is already salty because I use taco seasoning. I’m planning to make my own salt free version after we move and have a full size kitchen with room for more spices. Right now we have salt, pepper, and a handful of blends.)

Yesterday:
B
Oatmeal
Banana
Pumpkin pie spice

L
Jeff N burger (Indian)
Sandwich thin
Pickles
Tomato
1/4 avocado
2 tangerines

D
Taco stew SNAP meal:
Black beans
Pinto beans
Diced tomatoes
Crushed tomatoes
Frozen corn
Taco seasoning
White rice (bought accidentally but we’ll use it up)
1/4 avocado

Fresh strawberries
1tsp shredded unsweetened coconut
1Tbsp melted 88% cocoa chocolate

Today will probably be largely the same, maybe with a different burger.

[OrWhatever]

So the trip went well. Dad is tolerating the chemo well and feels much better than before the surgery. They even booked flights to California in September to come see the house.

I made SNAP meals for dinner most nights while there, and ate the leftovers for lunch. My mom was pretty impressed at how well they came out for so little effort, so I think she might keep making them, at least some of the time. On the other hand, she is retired and bakes her own bread, and makes soup from scratch several times a week, so I don’t know how important “quick and easy” are for her.

My breakfasts and snacks got a bit out of hand and I’m working on reining them back in now that I am home. it Is harder than I expected to give up the sweets; I might see if there are some approved desserts I can make to help transition back to compliance.

I do feel less energy and a lower mood than before my trip, and I think it’s been too long to blame it on jet lag, I wrote down what I ate yesterday and it was not nearly as close to full compliance as I imagined. I’m hoping that things will be better now that I am monitoring and paying attention to everything, not just what I have for dinner. I don’t know if it’s the memory order or the ADHD, or maybe just human nature, but I can be convinced that I am eating really well, then write everything down for a day or two and be shocked at how much junk I am actually eating.