by BHealthy » Thu Jul 09, 2009 9:14 am
Thank you for the welcome and encouragement Nancy, Anna and Jim. It's good to be here.
Last night I exercised for 40 minutes in the pool and it felt so good to be moving without bearing the full weight. I think that is going to help.
Jim, that is such a good question - What do I see that will make it really stick this time? I really want to think about that. I can come up with a multitude of reasons this lifestyle is just right for living - brings about good health, is easy to follow, doesn't harm animals or the planet. I am also tired of the vegan junk food now. I wasn't enjoying it. I was overeating it compulsively, without attention really - and I don't want to continue that lifestyle.
Also, there are so, so many recipes now. I really do not have to be deprived of any food - can create bean/grain burgers now instead of the isolated soy protein meats, make curries, along with old favorites. I know how it feels to get back into the swing of eating real food and meals and I look forward to that becoming the norm in my life.
Each time I've strayed I've gained much weight, worsened my health and felt emotionally much worse - even though I told myself eating the soy ice cream etc was helping me feel better. The facts are in my face now. I have plenty of personal evidence to tell me that - hey, you are in your mid-fifties it's time to grow up and take responsibility for your health.
Due to many, many years of losing - regaining weight - I wouldn't say that I completely trust myself that this is going to "stick this time". I want it to, of course, but I always felt that way when I resumed McDougalling - that this would be IT, the time I stuck with it.
However, this time I have a picture in my mind of myself eating like this forever...my body getting smaller in the process, my health becoming strong and vibrant. In the past I focused mostly on the weight loss and that truly isn't enough. It's the health - feeling alive, being active, feeling free to get out and live - that lifestyle along with the good health - that is very motivating. I've been without that eating the junk.
Actually, I'm not trying to focus on making it stick this time. I don't know if that's good or not, but I'm just trying to see it as the only option. In the past I would tell myself, you can add in veganaise/soy cheeses/some oils as you get to your goal weight. I know now that when I do that it just triggers adding back cookies, chips, margarine...you name it. I know where that leads. And truly, I've eaten enough of those "products" during just this past year for a lifetime. I don't need it or want it in my eating repretoire anymore.
What I want to avoid this time is thinking I can/can't have this. When I tell myself I can't have veganaise or a cookie etc, then I start feeling deprived. This time I'm telling myself - you can eat anything you want - but what you want are foods that heal and bring energy and life. So I can say to myself "I don't want veganaise - I want hummus or homemade tofu mayo that follows the McDougall guidelines - because I know how much better it makes me feel and how much easier it is to live eating that instead of the high fat mayo."
I know myself better this time, too. Early on, the first time - I was kind of a zealot about McDougalling which was unrealistic. I would worry about how I was going to get cooks to leave out the oil, what would happen if I could only eat white rice at restaurants. This time, I know that I will do the best I can and it's not the end of the world. I know where to eat with friends - that California Pizza Kitchen has a soup that is McDougall friendly except for the pearl barley and I can eat 3 bowls of that if I want or get the salad and use balsamic vinegar. I have experience and strategies that work and make it doable no matter where I happen to go with friends.
I'm really fortunate because everyone in my life knows I eat no animal products and haven't for 11 years. That's no problem. They also know that I get really healthy and lose weight well when I follow the McDougall guidelines. None of them would want to do that because they feel it's so restrictive, but they are fine with me doing it and very supportive. One friend asks at the holidays "Are you following your program (meaning are you not having added fats) or should I leave the oil out of the soup?" which is so great. They will support me in my choice to follow this lifestyle because they know it works for me. That makes it easier this time as they are used to it now.
I don't need any convincing that that I want to eat this way to live. I have more strategies for dealing with the urges to use sugar/fats (like Doug Lisle says we are programmed to do) and to use exercise and rest to deal with emotions. I didn't get this large from the SAD diet. I got overweight from overeating fats, sugars and processed vegan foods and stopping exercise. I am going to be dealing with that urge to overeat again and again - but this time I have more strategies that I know work for me.
Finally - fear is a big motivator. I'm scared I will not live another year unless I follow the McDougall guidelines. I am heading toward congestive heart failure or a stroke or cardiac arrest by eating added fats. I am crippled from the weight of what they've done to me. I cannot live like that - but I can live eating fruits, veggies, grains, legumes/beans and exercising and I hope with all my heart - will be able to reverse this edema, exhaustion and depression by doing so as well. My body really thrived when I did in the past - I just hope it will be able to again. It certainly will be the very best I can do to support its healing.
This was a ramble - but worthwhile for me. Thanks for the question, Jim. Now I'm off to read your Star McDougaller report!
Taking care of my health today,
Bea
Bea's Journal
7/7/09 429
8/7/09 398
9/7/09 380
10/7/09 367
11/7/09 352