Hi Everyone!
Thank you so much for checking in this week.
April has been a wonderful month of really supporting each other. I’m feeling the love! It’s easier to have deeper discussions when the group is a bit smaller. There’s less to read and thus more time for focusing on getting to know each other; more time to connect as a group.
A couple of years ago I read an interesting thought on in-group out-group dynamics by an online blogger psychiatrist, who uses the pseudonym Scott Alexander*, who thinks slight differences and close proximity are actually more often responsible in forming in-group out-group dynamics than vastly differing groups across large distances. This is what we see happening in politics, and closer to home in the world of healthy eating. People in regular contact with one another nitpicking over finer details and banding together over those details. I think it’s important to try and recognize this tendency and internally fight against it. To relate this specifically to our attempts at following the McDougall MWL program, as Jeff and many others have said, it’s important to stop focusing on these little dietary details and ensure we are getting the big things correct. Eat minimally processed, whole foods, no added oil and low in added salt and sugar; each and every day.
It was some of your comments this week that had me thinking about why so many people on their weight loss journeys feel so alone and how it connects to this idea of an in-group out-group dynamic. In many circumstances people come together under the banner of all sorts of commonalities and form groups leading to the solving of broad issues, removing large societal barriers; forming deep friendships, gaining a feeling of connection and a sense of unity. Many of us have experienced or witnessed these circumstances in which people that struggled together tended to bond and unite. We see this in groups that people chose to be a part of: the military, sports teams, politics; and in groups people don’t choose but are a part of: people linked by traits they are born with, or linked through diseases or loss.
There is at least one group that is somewhat less likely to form an in-group through struggle or a sense of commonality.
Overweight individuals do not express any less bias towards other overweight individuals than those in a more normal weight range. This could be a part of the reason why this feels like such a lonely journey. As Dr. Lisle points out, the root of the innate judgements regarding obese people
made by all people is, in part, due to an unconscious evaluation of fitness indicators that have led to survival and reproductive advantage in our species’ pre-history.
So, unfortunately for us, we are our own out-group too. This can be especially lonely and confusing to those more prone to obesity, or who have been obese for most of our lives. We don’t want help from people afflicted in the same way because they must be doing something wrong.... and it’s just so darn hard to keep reaching out to someone without understanding of the subjective experience of it. But we must! Not only do we need a correct understanding of optimal lifestyle factors from those able to look objectively at the issue, we also need to feel understood and supported. We are more likely to stay the course when we realize we are not alone in our struggle and that people experience varying degrees of difficulty in attempting to consistently change their behaviours.
Sadly there’s more to this being our own out-group thing; it is also the case that the frame of mind needed to be able to most effectively pursue making successful changes leading to weight loss (
a growth mindset - perceiving oneself as having control over an outcome), appears to be
linked to an incremental increase in negative attitudes towards obesity. It makes sense. If you believe you have control over a situation, you are more likely to work towards controlling it. You are also more likely to believe that others should be able to control it too. So when you see someone not making progress towards their weight loss goals they must not be trying hard enough or have some character flaw that makes them incapable.
Jeff Novick, Dr. Lisle and the whole McDougall team endeavour to help people realize this is not the case. They want you to know that losing weight is simple, but not always easy. We need to try to recognize the potential for flawed attitudes through changing our beliefs about the culpability of why one may be overweight. It takes good information to change your frame of mind, leading to greater weight-loss success. But also, be cognizant of the fact that everyone is learning how to do this in different ways, at different paces, facing different circumstances. Be supportive. Remember that the guidelines are just guidelines and can be applied
well in a variety of ways.
Time and consistent adherence. Practice.
Whatever it takes. We can do this.
Michele, I loved what you said below, this post is for you :
EVERYONE SHOULD BE KIND TO THEMSELVES AND ACCEPT THAT WE ARE JUST HUMAN but we do have the power to change when we 'deeply' desire it. I'm getting out my shovel to go deeper with that desire
I’m going to get my shovel out too; let’s get to work.
Amy
*My reference to this particular blogger is not an endorsement of all of his particular opinions. That is why I have not provided a link (it is searchable, however), I’m not sure that would be appropriate in this context but I also do not want to pass his idea off as my own.
Here are the results for the fourth week in April:Next Weigh-In is on Friday, May 3rd, 2019Total group loss reported in 2019: 260.22 pounds
April 2019 Weight Loss Group :: Monthly Weigh-In Results
Total group loss in January 2019: 140.53 pounds
Total group loss in February 2019: 78.64 pounds
Total group loss in March 2019: 7.4 pounds
Total group loss in April 2019: 33.55 poundsWeek ending 04/26/2019: 9 participants reported a total loss of 5.2 pounds
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Anelson108 - 1.2
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Total gains: 1.2
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Michele613 - 0.0
Shelley Crockett - 2.0
Sirdle - 1.1
Alishana - 2.2
Dpascar - Vacation
Belana - 1.1
EllenN - 0.0
Moonlight - 0.0
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Total losses: 6.4
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Total group loss in April 2019: 33.55 pounds
Week ending 04/26/2019: 9 participants reported a total loss of 5.2 pounds
Week ending 04/19/2019: 9 participants reported a total loss of 10.55 pounds
Week ending 04/12/2019: 10 participants reported a total loss of 13.1 pounds
Week ending 04/05/2019: 10 participants reported a total loss of 4.7 pounds