Journal of my journey

[Morris]

August 6, 2018

Okay, yesterday I ate some junk food with food dyes (caramel coloring, red and yellow) in it - today is migraine day. I think the connection is clear for me, I, too have negative reactions to food dyes. Getting a bit of motivation here to stay away from that junk.

It was a bad eating day and my weight is up a bit, if this goes as it has in the past, once I get back on track, my weight will get back to where I ought to be - I am bloated today.

I am starting my day with:
coffee
apple
lettuce, from the garden
banana

Last night I watched a couple youtubers do that Below the Line Challenge, eat for $1.50 a day to gain awareness of the struggle for those below the poverty line. These videos were from a few years ago. Funny how things seem to go in streaks -- and what's popular one day is forgotten the next. The popular items within the purchases were: rice, pasta, beans, lentils banana, and mixed vegetables.

Someone in the comment section mentioned that one can go to McDonald's and eat off the dollar menu - However, that would only give you one meal and certainly not much to eat for the day. See how marketing has got someone to think that the dollar menu in a fast food place is thrifty and sufficient. So, which would be better to fill one's tummy: one small hamburger or a pound of beans?

Today, I am going to make a batch of black beans and quinoa. Not sure how I will put them together as of yet.

[SilverDollar123]

Happy Belated Birthday Morris. I was away last week & had limited computer use.So I missed it. I enjoy your posts
keep up the running! Thats great!. I signed up for Myrtle Beach Marathon for next March.That is my goal! I will walk
the 1/2 marathon. Thanks for inspiring me.RAS

[Lyndzie]

I love the Fly Lady, too! I had not thought of her in a while, but definitely need to get back to having a shiny sink. It really does do wonders!

[Morris]

August 7, 2018

Yesterday, I made the black beans with quinoa; I added some corn and salsa to it. I think I prefer rice over quinoa. I'll be freezing and dehydrating some of the beans for future meals.

I want to go camping again - I get so overwhelmed with everything here. On my last camping trip I realized that camping is really a lot of work because I did not rest as much as I wanted to. I want to do 3 nights this next time at a park that has more hiking trails and it is a bit further away than these other parks I been going to. And then there is that lakeside one I want to check out. I'd love to get some sunrise photos of a foggy lake. However, summer is almost over - so many parks and not enough time.

I am struggling with keeping my kitchen sink shiny each night. One of the grandsons is here and it seems like every time I turn around there is something left behind. Right now, the living room has this huge cardboard box that is being made into a 'house'. We just don't have the space for this 'fun'. But it will stay there while he is here, just seeing the joy on his face while grandpa helps him with his house is worth more that have a clean space. Summer is almost over and then we don't get to have him visit as much.

I took both grandsons to a park that has a walk in campsite by a creek and since there were flash flood warnings the other day, I wanted to see how high the water was. Apparently, that creek was not affected, the water must be controlled by the dam. It was so low that we found a spot to walk on the rocks. Oh my, the boys had so much fun in the water. Then we went for a short walk on the trail, then stopped at the playground.

My granddaughter is getting to the age where she is not wanting to spend as much time with grandma. It makes me sad seeing her pull away a bit, but I am glad we spent all the time together that we did these past few years.

I need to get back into my exercise routine. I have been slacking and eating things I ought not be eating. I am thinking I eat more of the bad stuff when I don't exercise.

[Morris]

August 8, 2018

I finally got some decent exercise yesterday: 78 minutes on the recumbent bike, 29.4 miles. I put my tablet up over the console so I could watch a virtual bike video. I think I got into it because I found myself telling the people on the trail to watch out as I was passing on the left, even waved back to the friendly person on the trail - haha. Anything to keep the boredom away.

My weight is back down to the holding weight. I think I am seeing how vital exercise is for me to maintain my weight, especially since I am still eating too much junk. I am going through the pink book of the Beck Diet Solution and I made it to Day 13 - but I am not 100% doing the checking off every thing at the end of the day. Morning time seems to be my time for that, but I cannot check anything off as being done when I have not done the exercise yet. I know that will change because sometime soon the exercise is going to be prepare for the day to come (day 14). That is where I always dropped out of the program. Let's see how I do this time.

My scale is getting ready to die, every now and then the screen will freeze. Well, it froze after hubby stepped on it. I was surprised to see that his weight is holding also. The fact that we are both holding our weight and not gaining a whole lot considering how much junk we are eating has me baffled. How is this happening? We must be eating the majority of on plan and that is keeping our weight down.

My batch of beans turned out so good that I froze a bunch in single servings so I can just grabbed some and have them thaw quickly. I do find that when I eat the beans and greens that I crave less junk food. Since I am doing the Beck Diet Solution again, I am finding that I am really eating the junk food just for the sake of eating and it is not like I am having an intense craving for it. Rather, it is more like I am worn down and don't have much fight left in me. It is easier to just give in and not really try to resist it.

I really want to go camping again. Man, I got the camping bug. So, I thought I'd mimic what I do at the campsite and went out and started a fire. I thought I'd spend some time with a book. But hubby and the grandson came out with me. GS was playing with the rockets we bought for him (shoot them through the air via sling shot). Hubby was talking and talking. He is more of a talker than I am. I stayed by the fire after they went in and was able to read by using a flashlight. It was peaceful listening to the sounds of nature, not so with the car traffic, gravel pit noises, and airplanes.

What's on the menu for today is the black beans and quinoa and I really want to go for a run, race is on Saturday.

Breakfast:
coffee
oats
Triple Berry mix
chia seed
cashew hemp milk
kale

Black/kidney beans and quinoa burger served on bun with lettuce, ketchup and mustard
carrots

From a deli: Tomato bisque soup
whole grain bread
chocolate raspberry cookie
whole grain fig cookie

hot cocoa with marshmallow and whipped cream -- I'll most likely regret this later

[Morris]

August 9, 2018

My weight is up again. But looking back at my journal, it appears that for some reason I am not eating as much salad nor vegetables. Bread is being eaten way too much, I guess I need to focus on eating my veggies again.

I made some black/kidney bean quinoa burgers with the leftover beans. GS2 ate 2 of them, not sure if he realized they were bean burgers. But no matter, he ate two of them.

Today is the day of the Beck Diet Solution exercise is to plan your next day's meals. This is where I dropped out in the past. Most likely this is why I eat so much off-plan food, because I do not plan and prepare ahead of time.

I seriously thought of picking a certain number of foods and making my meal plan from that. And just rotate the ingredients, sort of like a Mary's mini but with more food. I watched a couple of below the line videos - eating on just $1.50 a day. I cannot imagine that today. The other day when I was in Walmart, I noticed that a pound of beans are now cost $1.89. Flashback to when I paid .59 cents.

[bunsofaluminum]

I watched a couple of those Below the Line videos, and thought back to my trial of that concept. I think it was under $3.00 a day (one dollar per meal)...and it occurred to me at the time, since I WAS living right at the poverty line, I was kinda already doing it. I lived really close to a "dented and torn" store where I could get a variety of everything for REALLY cheap, and that kept my grocery budget very reasonable, when I was flat broke all the time.

but the same day I watched those videos, I ate out for lunch, costing over $10.00! for one meal it really made me think. But I've gotten to where I always take them up on the whole "it costs so much to eat healthy!"...meh. If you eat fast food yeah. A salad costs more than a burger. But if you cook at home, a potato, some veggies, and some greens gonna cost you VERY little, and I can't think of anything in the produce section that costs $6.99 a lb...maybe something exotic that is $3.00 each? i guess?

Taters are cheap. Rice is cheap. Beans are cheap. And even fresh produce is cheaper than meat.

[Morris]

I don't buy the it is too expensive to eat healthy. I became aware of that excuse when I first watched Food Inc. and they portrayed a family that wouldn't buy fruit because they could only eat one, but thought nothing of buying chips and soda. That got me thinking that a bag of apples costs about the same as a bag of chips, but I'd sit down and eat that whole bag of chips in one sitting but would only eat one apple at a time. Which one would be more satisfying? And which one was a better value and which one would actually provide more meals?

The lies we buy into sometimes amazes me.

[Morris]

August 10, 2018

Well, I did not do the exercise for the Beck Diet Solution last night. This is the day that I am supposed to plan what I am going to eat the night before. I tell you, I do not like to sit at my desk in the evening, Sitting at my desk automatically means I am going to surf the internet and before I know it hours have gone by. So, I do not sit at my desk in the evening. I'll need to do it in the morning.

It is so hard for my to plan ahead because I am so spontaneous and just take each day as it happens. But I know I should do it because that would mean I am committed to eliminate junk food on the fly. Awww, here comes FlyLady's to do list.....

I really need to organize, my time, my eating, and my clutter. Oh, wait, "I need to declutter because you cannot organize clutter." - I am working on those baby steps. One area at a time for 15 minutes. I cannot wait until I get through all my clutter collection areas. So far, I am sticking with the shine your sink and the swish in the bathroom. It is nice just giving those area a quick wipe down rather than a deep cleaning. I think Fly Lady is on to something here. Did I mention I found my cards when I followed the Sidetracked Home Executives method? I did that when we sold our houses. Worked like a charm. I really need to get back to having a to do list.

I ate pretty much as planned yesterday, even without my list of what to eat. Other than those fig bars, I added an extra cup of coffee and some fig bars to my late morning. I am finding that hubby is eating my stash of goodies now. This means I have to be extra careful because when I was younger my sister did that to me and I would eat 'whatever' in one sitting just so she couldn't eat it. Now, I have hubby doing it to me. It kind of irritates me because we buy our separate stashes. I was getting a handle on my "I gotta eat the whole bag". These fig bars were of the more natural variety with whole grain and sweetened with juice rather than refined sugar.
We each bought a packet and he eats mine. UGH! And he is into my chocolate bars for s'mores too.-

I was going to go camping for three days, but our youngest invited us to go to the zoo with them. We decided that a family outing would be better than my solo time. It'll be so fun to do something with them. I am going to just do an one night, but I am going to pick a different park. I was going to do the longer stay at one that had a lot of trails.

Well, I am on my last cup of coffee and need to make my list of things to do and things to eat for today.

[Morris]

August 11, 2018

Race Day today -- I let the dog out this morning and thought my time is going to suck. Humid and hazy, there are air quality warnings. My granddaughter is also running the race and she has been having issues the last two that she raced. I don't know if she'll be okay with this one or not. But knowing her, she'll try to get her goal time and take off too fast. Today will be a 'don't focus on your time just finish the race'.

Yesterday, I weeded the garden, spent way longer than I planned. The weeds sort of got out of hand in some areas. It is so much easier to keep up with it when I do a bit each day. I let some area of the garden go because we had no spring this year; we went from snow to hot hot hot. So, I was not able to plant all I wanted to. I had been trying to keep that area free of weeds, but I forgot about it. So, yesterday I "decluttered" the garden, for about 4 hours. There is just something about getting down in the dirt that feels so good.

I did pick some green beans and a spaghetti squash. My lettuces are going to go to seed soon. I am not able to eat it fast enough. Mine is bitter this year, don't know if it is the type or if I need to amend the soil.

What I ate yesterday
coffee

Vegetable pasta: onion, carrot, celery, broccoli, cauliflower, tomatoes, penne pasta.

Vegetable pasta
spaghetti squash
carrots
green beans

Mug chocolate cake (chocolate covered katie's recipe) topped with a few chips. (I had a craving for chocolate)

[Morris]

August 12, 2018

This is going to be quick, because my coffee time is done for the day and I have a few things I want to do before I pack my car for camping!

Race results: 33:46 3rd in my new age group, it was a small race so I think there were only 3 of us in my division/age. I was 16 seconds behind my granddaughter. She was nervous about her breathing because of the air quality issues. As I am trying to close the gap ( I took my first walk break sooner than she did hers, so I fell behind), I'm like, "Girl, we are going the same pace and you are so competitive you won't run along side me." She got razzed so much when she started running about me beating her. Isn't it amazing how words, even done in teasing, can have such a long lasting affect on someone?

My eating was terrible yesterday - I did not eat breakfast, so I stopped for a banana on the way to the race. Then afterwards I grabbed 2 cookies and an orange and water, lots of water. Afterwards we went to the craft fair and there were health screenings being done. One of the tests were blood sugar. Mine read 71 about 1 hour after the race. I was surprised it was that low, the guy doing the test told me it was most likely because of the race and my muscles were using the sugar. Interesting.

So far today I had:
coffee and black beans.

But I need to get moving so I can get to the park and set up my camp, only a 1 nighter but I am looking forward to some ME ME ME ME time.

[Morris]

August 14, 2018

I had a relaxing time camping, but it seems like I am wondering why do I bother because I come home to what I left behind. This is my fourth camping trip and I still have not been able to just sit down and read my book. I am too busy setting up camp and then exploring.

This park has a few backpacking sites where you have to walk over a mile to get to it. I walked to one of the sites. Me, all alone in the woods without the proper survival skills. I had hubby on the phone and was telling him where and when I was turning so I'd be able to find my way out in a timely manner.

When we first bought our property here it was heavily wooded and there was a trail going through it. I stepped off the trail to explore then tried to find my way back to the trail. I could not find the trail and kept walking in circles. That experience showed me how easy it is to get lost in the woods.

Right now, I am remembering a particular time when my sister and I were trying to find a restaurant when attending a conference in a city I did not know my way around. When I made a turn, I picked a building as my landmark on where to turn to get back to the meeting place. And, while trying to find the restaurant, no matter what direction I went, whenever I stopped that building was always kitty corner from me.

Back to the walk in the woods: I have no sense of direction whatsoever. But it was a good walk and just having someone know exactly which route I took gave me a comfort level that next time, I will most like venture by myself. I also started to put markers by the intersections so I'd know which way to take when I was coming back.

This morning I am sort of comparing these experiences with navigating through the nutritional information out there. We have so much information that causes us to go in circles about what we ought to be eating or not. McDougall, Esselstyn, Barnard, etc. all make the trail clearly marked so we don't get lost.

One of the things I am learning when I camp is the planning of meals ahead of time and then finding out that I really do not need to eat all that much or as often as I do at home. I practiced some of the Beck Diet Solution exercises while camping, one of which was that it is okay to be hungry and that hunger is not an emergency (at least as long as I was not lost in the woods). I think because of the meals I packed, I am finding that if I eat my meal slow enough and really pay attention to what I am eating, I do not need to stuff myself to feel satisfied but the amount of food I prepared is sufficient.

Another thing with the Beck Diet Solution is that day 17 has the exercise to stop eating even if there is food leftover on the plate. It is the exercise to help end overeating and you place something on your plate that is not on your plan to eat. She emphasizes that if you think that not eating that food on your plate is wasting food to start thinking of eating too many calories as wasting food also. That food will go to waste either way, whether in the garbage or in your body.

[Morris]

August 16, 2018

Wow! Is it my imagination or is the journal section really active lately? I love keeping my journal because I can sort out my thoughts a bit and often regain my focus on what it is I am attempting to accomplish. It seems so simple, I just want to eliminate overly processed foods and eat foods as close to how nature intended them to be. But it is not simple with the food supply as it is because most of the items available are not even close to resembling what the items look like in nature.

The other day, I finally reached my goal weight. It was achieved after I went camping and had total control over what I ate without all the extra temptations laying around screaming "Eat me! Eat Me!" Plus I had absolute portion control and did not over eat. I was able to really pay attention to my hunger cues and sense of fullness. It was great!

However, it was short-lived. When I came home we went to the zoo with one of my daughters and her family. She bought me a salad bag and that was my saving grace, until meal time. We went to the Mall of America and chose to eat at the Middle Eastern food restaurant. I chose the veggie bowl, it had deep fried fafalel (?spelling) and it seemed to have been loaded with salt. The pita bread was addicting and I ate mine as well as hubby's. The next day I was bloated and still am, plus now I gained 2 pounds. So, back to square one again. It seems like when I start eating junk, I go into a downward spiral and it takes a few days to stop spinning and get back on track.

When I reached my goal weight and keyed it in on my spreadsheet, I noticed the BMI number. I am thinking I'd like to see if I can lower that just a bit more. But first, I need to find out what is the best number to be at, I can tell I still have some excess body fat. I don't want to lose too much weight and look like I am sick.

I noticed my dad yesterday and realized how frail he is now looking. He has lost a lot of weight but still has the belly. I owe a lot to my parents about healthy eating, they were into organic gardening before it was the in thing to do. We always had garden vegetables growing up. But then we also had the meat and dairy. Our meals were made from scratch and my mom, to this day does not buy the frozen processed meals, (but they do eat out a lot). They are in their mid-80's and my dad is still gardening. They have way too big of a garden, but they lay out the produce and tell all the neighbors to come an help themselves. Rarely does it go to waste.

I feel so much better when I don't eat junk -- I just have to stop doing it.

[Idgie]

Morris, don't be too hard on yourself. No one is perfect 100% of the time.

[Morris]

August 17, 2018

Listened to a video by Joel Furhman last night. Interesting information on how we shouldn't crave the junk once we consistently eat the foods that will give us the nutrients we require. I want to stop eating junk and there is all this information that is telling me that it is not good for my body to eat the stuff that is overly processed and full of salt, sugar and fat.

"Put the oxygen mask on yourself first, then you can take care of some one else." I believe that too often I am too soft on myself and that is part of the reason that I am struggling to get the junk out of my diet. When I track my food, I am amazed at how many of the calories I eat are from empty calories and the more I eat of them the more I am setting myself for health issues in the future. I believe I need to be hard on myself so that I can get a grip and just because no one is 100% perfect is no reason for me not to keep striving for excellence in what I eat.