Brave and Hopeful

[AmandaSue]

Day 10!!! I've reached double digits in the program. It feels good to have made it this far. It is a small milestone, but worth celebrating to me.

I grocery shopped today, which means I did not do much cooking. Once a month I hit up Costco for all the bulk goods and then finish up at my local grocery store, so it's a whole morning adventure.

Breakfast: Hashbrowns with onions, bell pepper, garlic and mushrooms, topped with nothing Out of ketchup. I tried salsa, but it didn't do it for me.
Lunch: Breakfast leftovers...with ketchup! Post grocery run
Snack: Apple and watermelon
Dinner: Veggie fried rice from MWL recipes.

The veggie fried rice was super simple and really delicious! That is definitely something I'll keep in my back pocket for quick and easy dinners. I made it super simple by using frozen mixed veggies instead of fresh. Bonus, my 3 year old likes it, which is always a win.

[AmandaSue]

Today we relaxed the guidelines and ate the basic McDougall way, so we didn't do 50/50 or limit our fruit. That was a nice way to "indulge" on Memorial Day while not overdoing it. I had oatmeal with blueberries and a little agave for breakfast and then we went on a 4 mile hike/walk as a family. Came home pretty hungry Ate some watermelon and got started cooking our little feast. We had Jeff's bean burgers (no bun) topped with all the regular fixings - tomato, pickle, onion, lettuce, ketchup and mustard. We served those alongside corn on the cob, baked fries and watermelon. It was great! I couldn't believe that we were so satisfied with such a simple meal...traditionally we would have made some type of cocktail or had beer and eaten very fatty vegan burgers and vegan brats alongside chips and some vegan cookies and ice cream. This was so much better and none of us left the table feeling miserable. I never imagined we'd say no to all those fatty vegan treats on a holiday weekend, but I'm so glad we did. I am so grateful for the motivation I feel to love myself enough to fuel my body with good food.

Scale Victory : Down another pound this morning
Non Scale Victory : Motivation to fuel my body with good food

[AmandaSue]

I'm not sure if this is par for the course, but I have been thinking much more clearly, and feeling much happier. I am less negative, genuinely more happy, and feel more creative. I do think being almost two months out from a move - we moved at the first of April - has something to do with that, just feeling more moved in and at home, but I don't think I can attribute all of the change to that alone. For the first time, in years, I am feeling alive to career possibilities and ways I can do what I love. It's a great feeling and a great place to be. I am less worried about my weight and the way I look. Even though not much has changed, I feel confident that I'm on a track to a healthier and more physically attractive place. I don't want to spend too much time psychoanalyzing myself, but I do want to take the time to note this experience, note these feelings, and be present and grateful for them.

[AmandaSue]

I'm feeling more and more confident in this way of eating, making meals, and eye balling my 50/50 plate. Since grocery shopping we've had salads and soup before meals again, and that has been so refreshing and delicious. It will be a little more work on our part to keep the fridge stocked with salad fixings, but I'm beginning to feel that it might be worth it. I have been indulging in more fruit (more than the 2 pieces per the guidelines) and I'm watching the scale to see how that has an effect on my weight loss. I really enjoy fruit and I don't think I overeat it, so I'm testing those waters. If my weight loss stalls I'll know I need to take a step back, but if it doesn't, I think I will continue to enjoy 3-4 servings of fruit per day. To be slightly dramatic, having a little more freedom with fruit is a quality of life issue, and I think it'll keep me otherwise compliant to the MWL guidelines. We'll see!

Breakfast: Steel cut oats with blueberries and agave
Lunch: Garden Salad with fat free Italian, Chickpea stew (MWL recipe) and potatoes with Brussels, onions, mushrooms, garlic and corn
Dinner: Lunch Repeat
Snacks: Cara Oranges and Mango

[AmandaSue]

I fell to the temptation of my son's pretzel sticks today! Aside from that blunder, today was a pretty good day.


1) Start each meal with a soup and/or salad and/or fruit.
2) Follow the 50/50 plate method for your meals, filling half your plate (by visual volume) with non-starchy vegetables and 50% (by visual volume) with minimally processed starches. Mostly
2) Choose fruit for desert.
3) Greatly reduce or eliminate added sugars and added salts. This includes gourmet sugars and salts too. If either is troublesome for you, you can eliminate them.
4) Eliminate all animal foods (dairy, meat, eggs, fish, seafood).
5) Eliminate all higher fat plant foods (i.e., nuts, seeds, avocados, tofu, soy).
6) Eliminate any added oil.
7) Eliminate all higher calorie-dense foods including flour products (i.e. bread, bagels, muffins, crackers, dry cereals, cookies, cakes), puffed cereals, air-popped popcorn and dried fruit. ate some of my son's pretzels
8 ) Don’t drink your calories (especially from juices & sugar-sweetened beverages).
9) Follow these principles, eating whenever you are hungry until you are comfortably full. Don't starve yourself and don't stuff yourself.
10) Avoid being sedentary and aim for at least 30 minutes or more of moderate exercise daily (i.e., brisk walking). No exercise today


Breakfast : Steel cut oats with fresh blueberries, cinnamon and agave
Lunch: Soup and salad followed by steamed broccoli with bbq sloppy joes (newsletter recipe) - no bread 50/50
Dinner: Super small salad followed by steamed broccoli with bbq sloppy joes - no bread 25/75
Snacks: Oranges and pretzel sticks

[AmandaSue]

I have fallen off the wagon the past few days. I know it's due to my emotional and mental health state, and to be honest, I'm both proud and a little disappointed. Yesterday night and the night before I made myself a PB&J sandwich. Yesterday I skipped dinner and instead had two bowls of mango which I followed with the aforementioned PB&J. I'm proud because I typically go whole hog on emotional eating, and limiting myself to the PB&J was a pretty big moment for me. To be really vulnerable, I would normally have gone to the store to pick up fatty chips and some wine, maybe some cookies and possibly some vegan cheese and crackers. So, a PB&J felt really restrained. On the flip side, I am disappointed. I could have made myself some dinner or I could have eaten some of the prebaked potatoes in my fridge, but I didn't. I made a real choice to eat a sandwich that I knew wasn't the worst, but certainly wasn't the best. I was hungry and I let my emotions drive the bus.

So, here I am on this beautiful Sunday logging my failure and happily moving forward. No shame and no judgement.

I have a girls night tonight (socially distanced and outside, of course) and I will imbibe. That was one of the things I made a decision about before starting the program. I will allow myself to have a drink at girls night and on a major holiday, but not more than once a week. Since girls night doesn't happen that often, it's really like once a month! HAHA! Which is great for my whole body, I'm sure.

I think what is so helpful for me right now and in moving forward is that this is not a diet, and gosh I know that sounds so cliche, but it really is a new way of life, and the weight loss is my body's response to providing the appropriate fuel. It doesn't have to be rocket science and it doesn't have to be perfect. I am hoping that one day next year I can start adding back in some of those other things I really love, like pasta and tofu, but until then, I'm letting my body get rid of the extra baggage by restricting extra fat. It just feels so intuitive. And a PB&J slip up doesn't wreck it, it doesn't undermine the whole "diet" because it's not a diet to be undermined. It's a way of life, and mistakes happen, and we just have to get back up and keep on keeping on. That is what gives me hope and that is what gives this way of eating longevity.

I'm also changing my ticker to show my actual weight. I don't want to be ashamed of myself at any point in the journey, because shame is part of the reason my weight is so high. So, I started this journey at 237.2 and today I weighed 228.8 and I hope to one day be 145 or lower. I'm 5'6" and I'm 34 years old.

[AmandaSue]

Well, halfway through my 3rd week and I'm still struggling to hop back on the wagon fully. Last night I really let myself go and ate off guidelines and well into the evening. I'm really wrestling with what the issue seems to be. I have assumed I'm just losing interest in the food, or my culinary interpretation of the food But, ever since I let myself eat those PB&J sandwiches it's been so hard to get back to following the guidelines. This is the first time that I haven't just thrown in the towel on a diet...which this isn't a "diet", but a change in my way of eating for the longterm...because I really believe in it. So, I am really struggling with my absence of willpower. Certainly I won't find all my answers today, but engaging here is helpful.

These are the things I do know...

It is healthy and good to be hungry
It's the Food.
I like variety in my food
My willpower is not enough
Eating at night (after dinner) is never a good idea for me

[jan_npr]

You are so right about willpower. Dr. Lisle talks about this really well in his "How to lose weight without losing your mind". Have you seen that? Hope you are having a better day today. Hang in there! I was hungrier than usual last night and realized I didn't have enough starch through the day. So I had two potatoes before bed. Should have balanced it 50/50 style but I didn't.

[AnnetteW]

My mental health also feels a bit precarious right now, and I know it's not helping me feel strong. But I'm working on it, and you're working on it too.

[AmandaSue]

Thank you so much for your support and encouragement, Jan and Annette! It really means a lot to me. Jan, I haven't seen that, but I will watch it now! Annette, you are so right, we are working on it and that is truly what matters! Thank you for sharing your struggles too...we will get through this. It's nice to know we are not alone.

Today was much better overall. I know that my weigh in tomorrow will reflect a week of struggle, and that is okay. The scale doesn't know the heart and mind issues that I have worked through. It is not a reflection of the whole person work that I have done this week. It is a data point on the long term graph of my journey and it doesn't define my success or failure overall or as a person. It is a data point. A very relevant and important data point, and one that I want to see change over time (lots of change! haha!) but this week's data point doesn't define the work, or my person, or my value. I am hoping its the same data point as last week! Which will mean I'll still have to change my ticker (I lost weight over the weekend before I jumped off the wagon ) And that will be okay.

I am realizing that when I make decisions off guidelines that I don't report what I eat. I don't want to do that anymore. It doesn't feel very authentic to just show the good days and not be honest about the hard days. I also think knowing I will journal my meals will help keep me honest...a little peer review does the diet good. haha! So, there it is. I will journal my meals daily while I continue embracing this change.

Breakfast: Oatmeal with berries and agave and cinnamon
Snack: Potatoes with ketchup and dijon mustard
Lunch : Broccoli Bisque soup (MWL recipe, really good!) followed by leftover Crockpot Pizza (newsletter recipe...not my fav, but good, and the recipe works out to be 50/50)
Dinner: Large garden salad with sugar free/fat free Italian, followed by BBQ beans, rice and a mix of broccoli, mushrooms, onions and garlic (50/50)
After Dinner Snack: Mango chunks and herbal tea

Thank goodness tomorrow is Friday!

[AmandaSue]

Somehow I managed to miss posting yesterday, so here is my menu from yesterday.

Breakfast: Hasbrowns with onion, garlic and bell pepper (50/50)
Lunch: Large garden salad followed by leftover Rice, broccoli with onions/garlic/mushrooms, and bbq beans (50/50)
Dinner: Large garden salad followed by baked French fries (no oil, no salt) with ketchup
Post Dinner: Herbal tea with agave

Yesterday was pretty busy. My little guy and I got out around the neighborhood and played most of the morning. After lunch we visited my friend and her baby chicks (she is in our quarantine bubble ) All I wanted for dinner was baked fries, and that is definitely not 50/50, so I went ahead and at least had the large garden salad before the starch.

Today I have had watermelon followed by hashbrowns for breakfast with onions and ketchup. We made McDougall banana bread (not MWL) and I've had a slice of that this morning. Lunch plans for today are a salad followed by potatoes with broccoli (and onions/garlic/mushrooms). Dinner is Zucchini corn salad (MWL recipe) followed by Chickpea Curry and rice (MWL recipe). Hopefully those two new meals will carry us through the weekend!

[AmandaSue]

Yesterday I had watermelon and then hashbrowns with onions for breakfast. Lunch and dinner were both bbq beans, broccoli and quinoa (both 50/50). I had a bowl of broccoli bisque (yes, I made it again! So good!) before and after dinner. I also had two glasses of wine and a small bowl of pretzels. I'm not proud of the pretzels, but I hung out with my girlfriend via FaceTime and we had wine together...could have stopped at one but I didn't. We talked for two hours! It was a wonderful exception for me. I also walked about 30 minutes yesterday.

Today I had a bowl of steel cut oats for breakfast, with chopped apple and cinnamon, and some agave. Lunch was broccoli bisque followed by quinoa and bbq beans with brussel sprouts, onions, mushrooms and garlic. Dinner is scheduled to be broccoli bisque followed by Chickpea curry over quinoa. And, I'm planning to finish my day with herbal tea. Snacks, fresh carrots/bell pepper are queued up in the fridge, and I have some potatoes ready to mircrowave if I'm really hungry. I am desperate to get out and walk today, but it looks like a long work day for my spouse which means it could be 8pm before I can get the space/time to get that in.

I haven't had a ton of time the past few days to journal here, but I'm trying to maintain my commitment to post my meals from each day, hence the rehash of yesterday and the projection for today.

So far I haven't seen any good news from the scale. I was up 2 pounds this morning! It was a real blow to me. I don't know if it was the wine, or maybe I'm retaining water...I have been super compliant (aside from the wine and 10ish pretzels) since Friday morning. I guess the salt from the pretzels could have something to do with it, too. Anyway, my hope is that if I just keep getting up everyday and trying that eventually I'll keep moving in the right direction. I think I will update my ticker on Friday only, just so I don' have the yo-yo thing going on.

[AmandaSue]

Yesterday's Menu:

Breakfast: Steel cut oats with apple and agave
Lunch: Quinoa with baked beans prefaced by a bowl of broccoli bisque (not a 50/50 lunch)
Dinner: Broccoli bisque followed by baked fries (super thick cut) with ketchup
Snacks: Trader Joe's High Fiber O's (no added fat...I don't think they are MWL compliant though) and Mango

Today I plan to just keep on keeping on. I have dropped the two added pounds so I'm back to my Friday weigh in weight. I'm still struggling to get the exercise in. By the time dinner is over and cleaned up and our little guy is in the bed, I'm exhausted. I will keep tweeking my schedule to try and get it in on a regular basis, but I'm not going to stress over it.

Cheers to Wednesday!